Puting Rosas

Sa bawat paglakad ay damang dama ang labis na pagkasabik ng puso. Hindi maintindihan ang nadarama sa unang sulyap ng iyong mga mata. Tila bukambibig ang lahat ng matatamis na bagay sa mundo. Ang sarili ay ‘di maalintana sapagkat tumatangis ang bawat silakbol ng damdamin at ika’y niyakap sa unang pagkakataon… Oo, sa kauna-unahang pagkakataong nakita ka, sa wakas.

Kasing bilis rin ng dyip ang pag-apaw ng kasiyahang hatid ng bawat pag-ngiti. Hindi pansin ang paligid pagkat ang iyong paggalaw lamang ang tanging sinisilip. Sulyap ng mata’y hindi maiwas, karugtong ng pag-ambit ng bawat tinaga mula sa iyong malalim na pagbigkas na tila’y musika sa ‘king pandinig.

Mga kwentong marathon na hindi mahahalili sa mga nababasa sa telebisyon. Kahit maghapon na magkasama’y tuloy pa rin ang pagkilala sa isa’t isa na ‘di ko mawari na ganito pala… Ganito pala kaysarap titigan ang iyong mga mata, pakinggan ang iyong mga tinaga, ang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay, ang sumandal sa iyong balikat habang pinapakinggan ang musikang tayo lamang ang nakakarinig. Ganito pala kaysarap mahulog sa iyo, oh, giliw ko.

Di ko namalayan ang oras ng bawat pag patak ng segundo sa bawat pagtama ng ating mga mata ay tila natatamaan ang puso. Hahayaan nalang ang damdamin na tila langit ang nadarama tulad ng pagsikat ng araw sa silangan hanggang sa paglubog nito sa kanluran. Walang katapusang saloobin kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Sa kung ano ang meron sa wala at kung ano ang wala sa meron. Pagkat ‘di ko mapagtanto kung bakit tila ang pagtawa mo ang pinapapangarap ko.

Ang mga butuin sa kalangitan ay walang katulad sa kislap ng iyong mga mata. Ang pagdampi ng lamig ng hangin sa aking balat ay ‘di alintana pagkat ang presensya mo ay nangingibabaw. Isinawasiwas lamang ang pagka hiya ‘pagkat hangad lamang ay ang makilala ka. Hindi pansin ang mga taong nasa paligid dahil sa patuloy kong pinagmamasdan ang bawat anggulo mo na babaunin ko sa pag-alis. Sa pag-alis kong baon ang iyong mga ngiti at tawa, baon ang kwento mong salamin ng iyong buhay, baon ang mga alaalang parte ako ng buhay mo sa oras na ito.. mula sa ‘ting pagkikita hanggang sa aking pagsakay.

Sa pagduyan ay laman ng isipan ang pangakong hintayan. Sa dapit hapon ng ating pag liway, tugma ang bawat ritmo na sumasang-ayon sa labis na tiwala na ‘di malilimutan kailanpaman. Hindi linggid sa ‘king kaalaman na ganito pala kasaya ang isiping hindi ako nag-iisa sa pagtungo sa kinabukasan. Sa tuwina ay napapaindak sa saya, dama ang kaba, at lahat ng pwedeng madama sa hatid nitong hamon sa buhay ko. ‘Di mapigil ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso, tanong ko tuloy, ito na ba ang para sa akin?

Pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili sa kasiyahang parang sumasabog ang lahat ng nasa loob ko. Kasabay ng pag-agos ng dugo sa aking mga ugat ay ang paggulo ng sistema na ‘di ko lubos maintindihan. Ngunit kabigha-bighani ang kapayapaang natagpuan sa balikat mo nang sa pagsandal ko’y dama ang bawat sandali nito.

Walang pakundangan ang kulitan na sa’yo lamang iaalay. Pangako ay mananaig, magunaw man ang daigdig. Pero alam kong daig ka pa saken kung kiligin, awh ah. Hahahaha! Tila wala na ‘tong katapusan, tadhana na ang may sadya tulad ng kalawakang walang hanggan. Sa daraang araw, oras, at sandali,  dagdag sa mithiin ko sa buhay, ay aalayan ka ng pang-habangbuhay- wagas at tapat na suyuan hanggang sa huli oh, giliw ko.

October 29, 2016

 

 

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Come what may

I looked at the stars yet I saw darkness. I was thinking that whichever corner my eyes drew into, there will always be that longing for sparks. Just a little forward? backward? side ward? How much farther can I go for distant lights? How many years does it take to say that “life has finally happened to me!”

 

Wishing for the right time, patience has its way to offer for the best. In midst of difficulties, one must soar high to collect stars, not by gazing but to reach for them. To jump high, no, but to jump higher and believe that we are the stars of our own selves.

 

Failures make us stronger and independent. I am one of the billion people in the world who has gone countless depression and frustrations in life. And I say sorry for myself, for the things I have done and for the things I have failed to accomplish. I don’t want to rant each part of it but in general, to aim for the best shot is not that easy. Bumpy roads and a never ending ups and downs do come in my way but I know God has come to save the day. I admit, I once told myself to just give up because it is the easier than to keep up the struggles going. But the Lord is keeping on pursuing me to stay still and focus on forward. I have tried to step down that road of sorrows just to consider my tiredness. But, soon I realized, I can never escape that road. The longer I remain sitting down on that corner, is the longer it would make me to see the best days of my life. I know right now, it may seem like I have not yet done my best-est yet, but I also know for sure that every single day is closer to improvement as long as I keep going and go for the extra mile. My dreams are still inside of me. Keeping the fire burning and a never ending adventure awaits. Come what may.

 

any other ordinary day to ponder

I sat down and thought something so deeply. I came to conclusion that what hurts you can destroy you. So what I have to do is to have a choice. Either to become miserable or simply… motivate myself.

I want to do better. Because I want to be a person of worth and value.

I want to strive more for my education. Because I want to know my purpose.

I want to be happier. Because of the promise of tomorrow.

I want to have a meaningful life. Because life is short to waste for nothing.

I want to soar high. Because I am destined to bloom.

I want to make my family and friends happy. Because I feel great seeing them with smiles.

I want to do my best for everything. Because putting my heart to it keeps me alive.

I want to try and try and never give up. Because surrendering makes no progress at all.

I want to trust my life to God. Because He is my Master.

I want to dedicate my life to Jesus Christ. Because I believe on the promises He made for me.

I want to live life to the fullest. Laugh, or Cry, make mistakes but learn. Set aside the pain and imagine a life of content and compassion. To be able to forgive, to trust again, while making the ride worthwhile. Of course, I want to reach my dreams, for God, for myself, and for my family.

Lastly, I want to fall in love.

To feel its magic reach through my heart, extends through my blood and bursts through my cells. How wonderful it is to love and to be loved in return. Everyone’s wishing for a Prince. And so am I.

But.. I don’t wish. Instead, I pray.

I fervently pray that someday he’ll come from a lightning bolt, sparks fly and flashes strike. It would be a dream come true. I know that God is currently preparing “him” for our meeting. I may not know who “he” is but I believe that “he” is exclusively created to love me forever. What a sweet dream it is. I want someone who will give me three roses that will NEVER ever die. Because for me, LOVE is God. If LOVE is God, He wanted to also show His love for us through the people we meet in life. That’s why I put value to every single person I have in my life because they keep me going. They are what I call “Priceless Blessings” – my Family, my Friends and to my dear unknown “Future Sweetheart to be”. Love is love. 🙂 I choose happiness- inspires me to wake up with determination and go to bed with satisfaction. It always depends on the person’s perspective. I pray that all of us (including you reading this), would have a positive outlook in life.

God loves us and I believe that through Jesus Christ we are saved. The Holy Spirit moved me to write what I’m feeling right now. It helped me to feel better already. (aweeee) Thanks God! 🙂

This is just any other ordinary day to ponder upon. And so, God bless everyone! Gonna study Analytic Chem. Good night!!!!! :)))