Dearest Star, I would like to express my sincere condolences to what I have to do. This would be a melodramatic narrative for which I know that in the first place, all I could do is to sit on my chair and do my routines. I hate to say that I will be missing you my darling. So much of confusion had come along my way since I first thought about you. The white sand beach, the warm breeze and the delight of having to experience something for free is really out of my reach. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You’re so tempting and that magic you have given me overwhelms my feelings as I try to imagine to embrace you from deep within me. I have always been fascinated about the sunny light above my head and that temperament that wraps around my back as I try to seek for cold refreshments. I seek of your love and of your effects that leave me breathless. I am writing this to you because I want you to know that I will always love your glow. I would always be admired how you shine up in the sky so bright that even Winter snow bows to you. I would always keep on loving you despite this situation I am having. The choice that I made because of something valuable that keeps me away from you. Now this fear is what I have to turn into strength. This strength that I will turn into a notion that dreams are made for people like me to hope and wait and see. To be better, and brave enough to accept defeat. To be able to withstand failure and whatever life might offer to me, I will always come victorious. Because I do believe on the Creator’s plan for my life. I just have to trust the maker of you as a star that someday, a beautiful meet up will due as I have that chance again to see you.
I will publish this soon as I build my dreams and make it to reality. I wanted to see you so much but please understand that this might be not the right time for me to be able to hold you, all I want you to remember is that… One day will come that I will be able to love you dearly. And sing with all my heart for the moment that I look forward. Lord, please help us.
To the sun that I missed during summer, I will always be waiting for the day to come that you and I can be together.
April 28, 2017
Sa bawat paglakad ay damang dama ang labis na pagkasabik ng puso. Hindi maintindihan ang nadarama sa unang sulyap ng iyong mga mata. Tila bukambibig ang lahat ng matatamis na bagay sa mundo. Ang sarili ay ‘di maalintana sapagkat tumatangis ang bawat silakbol ng damdamin at ika’y niyakap sa unang pagkakataon… Oo, sa kauna-unahang pagkakataong nakita ka, sa wakas.
Kasing bilis rin ng dyip ang pag-apaw ng kasiyahang hatid ng bawat pag-ngiti. Hindi pansin ang paligid pagkat ang iyong paggalaw lamang ang tanging sinisilip. Sulyap ng mata’y hindi maiwas, karugtong ng pag-ambit ng bawat tinaga mula sa iyong malalim na pagbigkas na tila’y musika sa ‘king pandinig.
Mga kwentong marathon na hindi mahahalili sa mga nababasa sa telebisyon. Kahit maghapon na magkasama’y tuloy pa rin ang pagkilala sa isa’t isa na ‘di ko mawari na ganito pala… Ganito pala kaysarap titigan ang iyong mga mata, pakinggan ang iyong mga tinaga, ang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay, ang sumandal sa iyong balikat habang pinapakinggan ang musikang tayo lamang ang nakakarinig. Ganito pala kaysarap mahulog sa iyo, oh, giliw ko.
Di ko namalayan ang oras ng bawat pag patak ng segundo sa bawat pagtama ng ating mga mata ay tila natatamaan ang puso. Hahayaan nalang ang damdamin na tila langit ang nadarama tulad ng pagsikat ng araw sa silangan hanggang sa paglubog nito sa kanluran. Walang katapusang saloobin kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Sa kung ano ang meron sa wala at kung ano ang wala sa meron. Pagkat ‘di ko mapagtanto kung bakit tila ang pagtawa mo ang pinapapangarap ko.
Ang mga butuin sa kalangitan ay walang katulad sa kislap ng iyong mga mata. Ang pagdampi ng lamig ng hangin sa aking balat ay ‘di alintana pagkat ang presensya mo ay nangingibabaw. Isinawasiwas lamang ang pagka hiya ‘pagkat hangad lamang ay ang makilala ka. Hindi pansin ang mga taong nasa paligid dahil sa patuloy kong pinagmamasdan ang bawat anggulo mo na babaunin ko sa pag-alis. Sa pag-alis kong baon ang iyong mga ngiti at tawa, baon ang kwento mong salamin ng iyong buhay, baon ang mga alaalang parte ako ng buhay mo sa oras na ito.. mula sa ‘ting pagkikita hanggang sa aking pagsakay.
Sa pagduyan ay laman ng isipan ang pangakong hintayan. Sa dapit hapon ng ating pag liway, tugma ang bawat ritmo na sumasang-ayon sa labis na tiwala na ‘di malilimutan kailanpaman. Hindi linggid sa ‘king kaalaman na ganito pala kasaya ang isiping hindi ako nag-iisa sa pagtungo sa kinabukasan. Sa tuwina ay napapaindak sa saya, dama ang kaba, at lahat ng pwedeng madama sa hatid nitong hamon sa buhay ko. ‘Di mapigil ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso, tanong ko tuloy, ito na ba ang para sa akin?
Pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili sa kasiyahang parang sumasabog ang lahat ng nasa loob ko. Kasabay ng pag-agos ng dugo sa aking mga ugat ay ang paggulo ng sistema na ‘di ko lubos maintindihan. Ngunit kabigha-bighani ang kapayapaang natagpuan sa balikat mo nang sa pagsandal ko’y dama ang bawat sandali nito.
Walang pakundangan ang kulitan na sa’yo lamang iaalay. Pangako ay mananaig, magunaw man ang daigdig. Pero alam kong daig ka pa saken kung kiligin, awh ah. Hahahaha! Tila wala na ‘tong katapusan, tadhana na ang may sadya tulad ng kalawakang walang hanggan. Sa daraang araw, oras, at sandali, dagdag sa mithiin ko sa buhay, ay aalayan ka ng pang-habangbuhay- wagas at tapat na suyuan hanggang sa huli oh, giliw ko.
October 29, 2016
I looked at the stars yet I saw darkness. I was thinking that whichever corner my eyes drew into, there will always be that longing for sparks. Just a little forward? backward? side ward? How much farther can I go for distant lights? How many years does it take to say that “life has finally happened to me!”
Wishing for the right time, patience has its way to offer for the best. In midst of difficulties, one must soar high to collect stars, not by gazing but to reach for them. To jump high, no, but to jump higher and believe that we are the stars of our own selves.
Failures make us stronger and independent. I am one of the billion people in the world who has gone countless depression and frustrations in life. And I say sorry for myself, for the things I have done and for the things I have failed to accomplish. I don’t want to rant each part of it but in general, to aim for the best shot is not that easy. Bumpy roads and a never ending ups and downs do come in my way but I know God has come to save the day. I admit, I once told myself to just give up because it is the easier than to keep up the struggles going. But the Lord is keeping on pursuing me to stay still and focus on forward. I have tried to step down that road of sorrows just to consider my tiredness. But, soon I realized, I can never escape that road. The longer I remain sitting down on that corner, is the longer it would make me to see the best days of my life. I know right now, it may seem like I have not yet done my best-est yet, but I also know for sure that every single day is closer to improvement as long as I keep going and go for the extra mile. My dreams are still inside of me. Keeping the fire burning and a never ending adventure awaits. Come what may.
It was one of the most anticipated event in the Philippines. The Ati-Atihan festival is celebrated from January 8 to 17, 2016 in honor of Senor Sto. Nino de Kalibo. My most awaited moment to enjoy it with friends. Super fun but motion sickness would drive me out of my mind. I could feel every bumps of the road and my stomach wanted to burst. Luckily, I have survived the long hour travel from Miagao to Kalibo. Indeed, it was an achievement for me not to vomit. I usually do that whenever I have my land trips around Mindanao. One thing that motivates me to decide that I would join is that my will to capture right before my eyes the so called “Mother of all Festivals” here in our country. So much for that, I am thankful to my dear friend, Lindsay who sponsored our stay in Kalibo. Thank you for the chance to witness the beautiful street dancing parade and to experience the “sad-sad” for the very first time. This feast is worth it.
First stop was attending a one heck of a blast night out party with people who wore white. I wore a checkered polo but seriously, I didn’t care about it. What matters the most was that I had a great time partying with my super awesome friends- Nikki, Kat, Lindsay, Toni, Dean, Erschad, Kent, Paul, Inteshar, Dave, and Shaira, . Super cool RAVE II at Ati-atihan Badminton Court Acebedo Farm, New Buswang Kalibo, Aklan. I almost lost my energy dancing all throughout the party. Well spent 250php. HAHAHA. But the party left me a question, why did it feel like I was just doing Zumba at all? HAHAHA Lower pa more.
On the next day, morning of January 16, 2016, all of us were preparing for the spectacular event why we came for- “Street dances of Ati”Truly, it amazes me to have a closer encounter with the participants, I too did dance with them. Together with Erschad, Dean and Inteshar, we have decided to take pictures outside though we haven’t eaten our breakfast yet or taken a bath at all. haha! But it was worth it. We headed back to Lola Lilian’s Residence then the rest of us were getting ready for sad-sad around Kalibo,Aklan! Hashtag:Excited much!
Looking back, I never thought I was doing all of that. Never knowing what to expect but to hug freedom and cherish time with good friends. I love the walk, the talk and the bond within us will which makes life so interesting.
Around noon, we’ve started to go walking around and ride a tricycle going to plaza Pastrana Park. We took a little way along the busy streets of Kalibo seeing various supplies and things to buy. The people were very busy selling their goods and sales. Its such a good time for business since it’s the season for rejoicing while celebrating the fiesta with its grandeur. So much for that, we headed to Gaisano and decided to roam around and buy something. I was really overwhelmed by Dave when he gave me a cute headband. We bought the same shirt design too yey! 🙂
Too soon enough, we got soooo hungry and certainly made our way out to the streets heading to plaza Pastrana. As expected, a lot of people came to watch the festival and colorful costumes by the ati’s. Along with the beating drums, melodic lyres and widest smiles of the dancing troops, we belong to the crowd who were fascinated by its festive atmosphere despite the heat of the sun. It was an amazing moment for me to witness such celebration. And I know I am not alone.
Kind of real good timing to have some henna in our sun-kissed skin and so, Inteshar, Kent, and Shaira got their artistic tattoos. On the other hand, the rest of us got our face paints and head dresses. Almost 100% ready for the sad-sad photoshoots! As we released our energy for the coming of ati tribes, we ran out at the center road to join them dancing and make selfies to any costumed earthling we bumped into.
Realtalk: I was hungry that time yet I was overjoyed by the festivity of this town. Our group headed to Jollibee and as expected, it was a hell of a crowd. Kinda suffocating but still thankful to Dave who reserved seats and tables for us.
After being fueled up by chicken joy and spaghetti, my tank’s ready for another sad-sad. We met at the other side of the road where we stayed for a while to watch the crowd’s parade. We’ve seen, a lot of Family clan members, petron, fisheries, and organizations ramping all the way to plaza. The mob became so aggressive to catch some candies from above a building. It created traffic and it somehow annoyed me. Hahaha! But soon, the parade went smoothly.
It was a fiesta like no other. Maybe because I still haven’t tried to witness street dancing during festivals in our town. It’s my first time and I truly thank God for the chance.
We were planning to join the UP Akeanon and do we headed to mix and match. Along my walk, my slippers got broken because I almost slipped then I was on panic. LOL. But fortunately, I thank Dave for being my savior and for assuring my security to be not lost in the crowd.
Along our long way walk, we met super stars! Yeah! Super iron man, !, Super avengers and luckily, got picture with them. I got so excited but I do know that it was just fake abs. oh yeah. hahaha
And then there we go, to UP Akeanon meeting place. We met our Chem Instructor and I also met my close friends there, Emman and Divine. I can sense unity from the Akeanon pips.
By mid afternoon, we drove out by tricycle and we went back to Lola Lilian’s home. I got tired, I got exhausted and I got body pains already but, it was all worth the energy. Thank you God. I really admired Kalibo for patronizing Sr. Sto. Nino so passionately and the people there actively participated the superb event.
I was trying to sit back and relax for a while and suddenly my liveliness went up when I had put my eyes to the television. Its because I love Marc Logan’s TV Show. It’s all jokes and humor and trending videos. Wooh! So much for that, our dinner plan took us to Lindsay’s tito lolo Arturo at Magdalena Village where we were welcomed by delicious food and also, sing-along with videoke. It was fun and memorable J I smile every time I remember each moment of our trip. Clingy batchmates, indeed.
Around 10 pm, we headed to Magsaysay park through Lindsay’s dad who fetch us from Magdalena Village. As we stepped out of the car that night, we were welcomed by the flashing fireworks up in the sky creating wondrous sparks and thunder-like sounds. It lasted almost 15 minutes and I can still remember the joy I felt watching the blasting colors up in the blue.
We head back at the residence to rest for a while and planned for Paul’s pre-birthday celeb. Paul volunteered to treat us and enjoyed the rest of the night. I played card games with Kat, Kent, Dave, Shaira, Nikki, Erschad, and Lindsay. It was great and fun!
Before going to sleep, I talked with Dave about random things like this and that , with Nikki and Kat too! and decided to eat some wishing Oreos. A well-spent night of course.
The next morning, January 17, 2016, the day when we we’re about to leave. I woke up early because of Lola Lilian’s cooking, Hayyy,her morning breakfast really smelled so good. Thank you po. I took a shower and took a nap for a while. After that, Erschad, Kent, Dave and me played card games that same morning.
We packed up our things and went to Lindsay’s tito lolo Arturo once more to eat lunch. Their good family welcomed us and served us food on the table. It was a warm welcome indeed. We were on thinking about going to Caticlan but since classes will be resumed on Monday, we cancelled it right away and also, I only got 500php left on my pocket. lol. By the way, all of us wore Ati-Atihan shirts.
(At the terminal while waiting for an air conditioned bus) Last minute thoughts before leaving Aklan: “Dapat makasakay mi ug bus kay klase na ugma” “Get ready for hunger games” “Attack kung attack” “Reserve seats” “Shit bahala na mabangga ug giants” “No pain, no seat” No guts, No Pungko” Goshhh. As I pondered all of these on my mind many times, Nikki suddenly put on a scene about Dave being a blind man to get some special treatment for us to ride on easily. Woh! I then realized I was laughing too much. Since I was being forceful enough to held back the exhaustion, I felt quiet relaxed by the jokes. I so love you friends.I kept silent and waited for the moment when the bus arrived.I stayed strong for that one hell of a step up for me just to ride a bus. I was really scared that time. I told myself that I need to survive this kind of first come-first serve system here. It’s my first time diving in to a very critical position to be against the crowd. HAHAHA It was exciting actually. Thanks for the blind man who motivated me. HAHAHAHA But, so much for that, I am thankful that all of us got our seats in the bus. Unexpectedly, our bus stopped for almost an hour because we almost got hit when a car over taken our way. Police and authorities got there and filed sanctions about that car. #buswreck
WOWOOOWOOOOHHH!!!! At last, the bus started its engine and rolled its tires going to Iloilo. Finally, we could go home.
Along our trip to Iloilo, my mom scolded me about my activities. I cried. Oh yes. I did. I can’t even smile during our travel from Iloilo to Miagao. My conscience could not take that much. Of course, I know very well that my mom just cared for me. I thank Dave for comforting me that time. Hopefully, someday, they can trust me with my under takings in life. But no regrets, I enjoyed the trip so much! Whose with me? I know you do. Hahaha!
The two day trip was all worth the long hour ride. I’ll miss everything. Not only Aklan but the people I got to know more during my stay in Aklan. Inteshar, Kat, Lindsay, Shaira, Nikki, Dean, Kent, Paul, Dave, Toni and Erschad, I am so thankful that I met you and be part of one of my first time’s in life. I really cherished the time together I had with you and hopefully more trips to come. The bond we’ve shared was priceless and as an expression of my appreciation, I wanna say, Thank you for inviting me. As a “sad-sad” newbie, Ati-atihan surprised me. hahahaha! Exploring a lot of places while learning their culture is really a nice way to enjoy life at its fullest. More blessings to come everyone! 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ Ati-atihan 2016 “Mother of all Festivals” Viva Sr. Sto. Nino!
photo by: (C) https://www.fest300.com/festivals/ati-atihan
I see a day where pink roses blossoms on a wild bushes,
I see a day that I’ll come to conquer the wavy seas,
I see a day where sunny days are shiny and brighter than of today,
I see a day where hearts collide in the 11th hour of May.
I see a day which a witch has chosen by Prince,
I see a day that fairytales happen in any other means,
I see a day where I can jump off a castle and escaped reality,
I see a day where hearts endeavors nothing but fantasy.
I see a day on which birds do fly above my head,
I see a day where butterflies sip only on roses red,
I see a day of dusk but mallows on a hay,
I see a day where I’ll put my hat above my face to where I lay.
I see a day where dreams come true,
I see a day where no one is blue,
I see a day where the yellow sunshine screams,
I see a day of a lover in a summer dream.
Friday morning in her pink shirt and paled blue shorts,
Wake up at 7 am and trying to get up.
But she can’t, just can’t.
Wait a minute, said she.
In her light black eyes, she bulged her eyelids,
in her arousal, she stood up and pray.
At her bed she was in doubt,
to find some little mistakes at this very day of 12th of december.
Still wondering about her large Choco latte colored bear,
if she ever leave, who would take care of this poor creature?
She asked and asked, until a friend volunteered!
“Relief”, said she.
On her waist, she placed her hand,
On her hand, she mumbled and wondered,
on her feet, she found out ones missing,
undressed 2 feet, 10 little fingers in cold.
“Where art thou”, asked she.
Her green slippers are gone, in her dismay she walked outside.
In the advent of her discovery,
Black large slippers were displayed.
“Could I borrow this my friendly fellow?” asked she.
“Yes” said he.
Taddah, her dear little ten finger feet were all alived
Once cold now once on heat.
She walked down the road and about to pee.
4 doors never was opened and shocked.
“Oh my, said she.”
She went to the corner and mumbled,
this red little panda is in trouble.
She went back to her bed and was saddened,
Trying to ease the pain on her stomach.
At her courage mind, she went out with guts,
Gone to a new house, residing at the porch beside the green valley,
the red little panda found a white shining door.
“What a wonderful sight!” said she
She went through the door and “Viola!”
The white tub suits her and comforts.
After the discomfort of this little red panda,
She uttered and said,” OH MY GEE!”
She found out something horrible
And it makes her so trembled.
The door was locked and she was trapped!
Poor little red panda, Poor little red panda.
At her dismay, she pondered, “Don’t wanna be here forever!”
She shouted for help but no one heard it.
She knocked on hardly, she knew somebody would come.
Along with her dreadful situation, tears would fall.
But before it could happen, she heard a voice!
“A trapped one!”
As her heart was pounding loud, so nervous and so hopeful
Somebody will save her as she pulled the knob trigger
and watch it be destroyed and fallen
To see the world again, to feel the breeze again,
“Help” said she
“Yes, I will help you out, ” said he
In her cries and loneliness, fears disappear,
As the locked door was opened,
As it turned broken,
As she heard the cracking sound of the door opening,
she was finally saved and mumbled, “My Savior”
And there he is, a Brown Koala bear with gleaming eyes
and charming smile, “HAHAAH, you’re saved.”
and then the brown creature jumped off nowhere.,
The little red panda, who was frightened was enlightened.
By the Brown Koala bear who saved her,
At her bed, she wished to see him again,
“Hope I might see you My brown savior”, said she
Happiness is what she found,
Her knight and shining Brown Koala Bear.