The Comeback

3rd of May 2020. I woke up this morning with a sudden thought of opening up my wordpress account again. It has been 2 years since I’ve written an entry post in this blogsite. Little did I know, during the past 2 years, I have gained followers and had few visitors in my blog.

Looking back, the recent post I had was during my OJT days last June 2018. I was amazed by how I was eager so much to survive and graduate despite my longing to go home. The old me was a fighter. I am proud of how she continued to commit on the responsibilities as a student, as a daughter, and as an individual.

20th of July 2014 when I first started this blog. I couldn’t contain my happiness and shared this on my story in insta and facebook. Hoping more entries and stories to tell.

Dear old self, I hope you’ll be proud of me. Thank you for hanging on…

Family

I never wanted to leave. Who else wanted to leave their family?

But for the sake of a good future, I chose to go in Iloilo and pay the price of board school.

I accepted long ago that I’ll be away from my family when I go to college. I react excitedly but nervously as I picked my chosen University. Well, I have to admit that it has been 5 years of struggle. Pieces by pieces I have been molded into something new.

I, am Almie. Currently on her way to 5th year BS in ChE is taking up her On-The-Job-Training at Global Business Power Corporation here in Iloilo City. I know from the start that it would be a little rough for not being able to hug my family. I really missed them.I wanna go home. But the thrill of working on the field of my course motivates me a lot to do a great job to make my parents proud. I really do not want to fail them. They have worked so hard just to send me to school. I want to graduate! To graduate on time! and pay the bills for my family to enjoy life a little, without working at all. I just pray that someday, I can become a blessing to them.

I myself know that I am not the perfect daughter. I do not have the best personality to be an eldest daughter. But even so, I missed our home. The home where I would love to make jokes with them, and laugh with them, to my mama and papa, I want you to know that I love you. I love you with all my heart. Even though I can’t tell you everything that is happening to me right now, I am proud of how you raised me as your daughter. I really missed the meals at home. I really missed just doing nothing and laundry and laziness of me during washing dishes. I pray so much to God every single day of my life to make you all happy and safe.

I have gone through many decisions.. failures and disappointments did not stop me to strive on for the goodness of my possible future. Even today that I really need you. I wanna go home and see you. But I just cant because of the distance we have. I am so envious with my classmates because they can go home whenever they want.I really am sorry for everything I missed-birthdays, anniversaries and your pizza nights without me, your Sunday’s best and even dinners. Even though I am too far away, please know that I really really am thinking of you all. With all my heart that is aching, I pray that I can see you again after this month, and you will be proud of me.

For all people in the world, only the family will listen to your drama and understand you and would never leave your side. Through it all, I am being strong enough ma, pa, mai, to hold on to God’s promises.

Thank you for eveything you have done for me, for trusting me and loving me with all you have got just to make me happy. I know this blog would just stay here. Because today, I have no one to talk to. Just this keyboard’s you bought for me ma. I have so much to tell you about ma, pa. I have so much to tell you. But you know me that I am not that kind of hearty heart talker.mehehe. And I cry my hearts out while writing this journal.

miss you all.

“Do not impose upon others what you yourself do not want”

We are basically thinking of “what ifs”. That is the thing nowadays. What if I do this to him, would he do it for me too? What if she won’t appreciate what I’m about to do? Would they do me a favor in return? To expect goodness by doing well to others becomes the world’s norm. Achieving a win-win thing is what matters mostly nowadays. But how about if someone does bad to you, would you do them the same thing?

Reciprocating the good with a good and a bad with a bad is a natural cycle that leads to the different situations and dramas in this life. We tend to forget the first values we have learned when we get hurt by others and from that experience, we would end up thinking about revenge. Having self-thoughts with myself, I do believe in karma through this saying. The principle is being intertwined with bad deeds towards others and as time goes on, the karma comes back unto that person in time. My roommate, ChimaiQuicoy, told me that for her, this is her principle in life as well as the “golden rule” considered by most people.According to her, this saying makes us realize that if you do not want others do that kind of thing to you, then just do what you think is right so that the favor will be returned as a good one.

Becoming cautious on having expectations is a must to not be disappointed on its outcome. As long as we do the things with good intentions, the possibility of having difficulties with people in the long run will be lessened if not avoided. In fact, I have chosen this saying from Confucius because this teaches me to be a better person. My views upon the world is related on the exact thought about it where someday, I wanna look back and would like to tell myself that “My life is not perfectyet I havetried to live it right.”

Confucius Lessons, Lit2

Rotten words, Rotten minds

As far as I can remember, I ‘ve gone through worst… worst that you can ever imagine. The process I undertook last 4 years ago had brought me the sense of individuality that shaped my mind as of this moment. I barely remember the scenes and exact words to note but I could still feel the intensity of what I had experienced from that part of my life.

Those who really knew my story branded me as a strong woman on pace of this life. I have gone through numerous ups and downs in life. Psychological tortures and physical ones which some of my friends never knew about. I intended to just shut it up but it came too soon on my mind that I should just write a blog about my deepest feelings… Those untold ones.

I have encountered battles on which I carefully chosen. Knowing ones level of character is enough for me to either enjoy the show or be with the serye. I doubt that most people would want the supporting role. Of course, most of them liked it to be the center of attraction. It’s always been that way. Never realized it yet?

I met a lot of people almost different and almost similar ones. It just, overwhelms me to observe how some acted to be too good at the start in front of you but suddenly they begins to be ignorant behind your back. “Contempt” “Jealousy” “Envy” those three words would roll side by side to pull you down. Their goals is to pull you down when they see something great about you. That’s life. Shit happens and you just gotta never care such bullshits.

Its funny how I used to hear fluttering words from anyone yet as time goes by, the authenticity fades away sooner just because you can’t give what they want or just because you are above them. For real, I mean, if they can’t reach you, they wanted you to be pulled over. Its so funny and very entertaining at least. Like a circus trail. Pretending to be something and making themselves pretentious as fuck just to smell great yet they rot on the inside.

Who would ever want to speak out of junk on the sea side? Most people out there do. They just spit out toxicity and polluting themselves every now and then. They are trying to outwit anybody and tell themselves they are the better person. What a waste of time babbling on such messes. You know what I mean. Ever experienced such things? HAHAHA I guess my very existence would threaten their own good. My goodness!

While others are so infuriating, best people would come and most of them are the ones who never tell a single fat lie about you. WE all demand for authenticity yet it is so hypocrite for others to be pretentious that they are the better ones. Making issues and correcting your mind by a crippled mind is too funny. Bad mouthing other people just to make them feel good. Too entertaining. pffftttt.