Come what may

I looked at the stars yet I saw darkness. I was thinking that whichever corner my eyes drew into, there will always be that longing for sparks. Just a little forward? backward? side ward? How much farther can I go for distant lights? How many years does it take to say that “life has finally happened to me!”

 

Wishing for the right time, patience has its way to offer for the best. In midst of difficulties, one must soar high to collect stars, not by gazing but to reach for them. To jump high, no, but to jump higher and believe that we are the stars of our own selves.

 

Failures make us stronger and independent. I am one of the billion people in the world who has gone countless depression and frustrations in life. And I say sorry for myself, for the things I have done and for the things I have failed to accomplish. I don’t want to rant each part of it but in general, to aim for the best shot is not that easy. Bumpy roads and a never ending ups and downs do come in my way but I know God has come to save the day. I admit, I once told myself to just give up because it is the easier than to keep up the struggles going. But the Lord is keeping on pursuing me to stay still and focus on forward. I have tried to step down that road of sorrows just to consider my tiredness. But, soon I realized, I can never escape that road. The longer I remain sitting down on that corner, is the longer it would make me to see the best days of my life. I know right now, it may seem like I have not yet done my best-est yet, but I also know for sure that every single day is closer to improvement as long as I keep going and go for the extra mile. My dreams are still inside of me. Keeping the fire burning and a never ending adventure awaits. Come what may.

 

the missing sword

I used to write a lot. “A lot”. when I say “a lot”, it means I am connecting some words inside my head trying to give out my extrapolation for any matter that I got every single minute. I have equipped my mind with countless thoughts- making sense or not. Words that seem to turn out to be just a mere piece of trash or what else? a necessity perhaps? I can identify which is which and which is not. That seems to be a problem here. It is hard to choose between words that you want and what you need. So I tend to never notice time or the sunset, neither the weather nor the fiests. I have never watched the clouds for a long time or throw a peeble in a beach. Needless to say but I was out of words , or maybe, just maybe, I refused to bleed. 

Words were my arrows but I have ditched my bow. Words were the bloody red thirst of my sword but I surrenderred my plight.And my life is at its brink of death without my virtue, my weapon… my pen. 

  • Would you mind if I ask you to find my missing sword?

-Ajpc82916

In time

In time,

we would wonder why,

why things would happen out of our control.

 

In time,

we would be puzzled,

puzzled about how we handle our life.

 

In time,

we would be convinced,

convinced that life isn’t perfect.

 

In time,

we would become regretful,

regretful with the chances we didn’t take.

 

In time,

we would try to think,

think about the dreams we want to achieve.

 

In time,

we would realize,

realize that at the end of the day, we are left alone.

 

In time,

we would discover,

discover that we are free as birds fly above.

 

In time,

we would fight,

fight for the good fight of faith.

 

In time,

we would fly,

fly to the other side of the world to find ourselves.

 

In time,

we would ditch,

ditch our fears and doubts to face the unknown.

 

In time,

we would sacrifice,

sacrifice our life for someone to live.

 

In time,

we would make a choice,

make a choice between what you want or what is right.

 

In time,

we would forget,

forget about reality and truths.

 

In time,

we would struggle,

struggle to ride on the bumpy road of life.

 

In time,

we would forgive,

forgive ourselves from the mistakes we made.

 

In time,

we would wish,

wish that tomorrow will get better.

 

In time,

we would accept,

accept that life is what we make it.

 

In time,

we would do more,

do more than just exist.

 

Because in time,

we would love,

love to see the world much more differently.

 

Because in time,

we would smile,

smile despite the tears falling from our eyes.

 

Because in time,

we would hide,

hide the pain and make the world wonder why.

 

Because in time,

we would grow strong,

grow strong and never be afraid to go wrong.

 

Because in time,

we would feel,

feel the glimpse of heaven for real.

 

In time.

In time..

In time…

It’s Hard

It’s hard,

to check

to check whether you’re doing it right or not.

 

It’s hard,

to encourage

to encourage when you’re the one who needs it the most.

 

It’s hard,

to correct

to correct mistakes of yours than others.

 

It’s hard,

to pay

to pay attention when no one else’s listening.

 

It’s hard,

to react

to react in times in shock and dismay.

 

It’s hard,

to play

to play along the good side of story.

 

It’s hard,

to please

to please everyone about things.

 

It’s hard,

to talk

to talk things openly.

 

It’s hard,

to share

to share a life when you don’t know who cares about.

 

It’s hard,

to smile

to smile when the only thing left in your mind is to cry.

 

It’s hard,

to believe

to believe that something good might happen.

 

It’s hard,

to trust

to trust over and over and over and over and over again.

 

It’s hard,

to forgive

to forgive with open arms and ditch the disappointments.

 

It’s hard,

to forget

to forget all the feelings of sorrow and pain.

 

It’s hard,

to organize

to organize a life full of mess.

 

It’s hard,

to begin

to begin all over again.

 

It’s hard

to lie

to lie a smile when deep inside you’re bleeding.

 

It’s hard

to take

to take so much of other’s time.

 

It’s hard

to ask

to ask for love and importance.

 

It’s hard

to expect

to expect things that could lead to hurt.

 

It’s hard

to stumble

to stumble and fall because somebody has pushed you down.

 

It’s hard

to give

to give thanks when you’re at peak of being sorry.

 

It’s hard

to appreciate

to appreciate when everything around you is unworthy of seeing.

 

It’s hard

to spend

to spend time with yourself all alone in the dark.

 

It’s hard

to see

to see things differently from now and then.

 

It’s hard

to understand

to understand and understand and that’s the only thing that’s left.

 

It’s hard

to cry

to cry out loud on someone’s shoulders.

 

It’s hard

to listen

to listen the imperfectness of life.

 

It’s hard

to achieve

to achieve things that you can’t reach.

 

It’s hard

to create

to create happiness during those sad moments in time.

 

It’s hard

to wish

to wish for the things you can’t have.

 

It’s hard

to value

to value people when you have to let them go.

 

But….

 

 

It’s never been hard

to express

to express a love like this through this poem.

 

God’s Perfect Timing

In this life, we cannot always do great things, but we can do small things with great love.

January 8, 2016 HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!!

I didn’t sleep well last night and I blamed Coffee for that. o.o

Good morning. Hoping to have the appetite to pack my things for my travel this night. woh! I still don’t want to face UP. I wanna extend my vacation, If only I can adjust the time and make it go back 3 weeks ago.

Whatever. I gotta move forward. Moving on to the 2nd chapter of my 2nd year life as a ChE student. T_T Hoping I can cope up with everything after I’m about to leave my comfort zone. It’s always a challenge for me because I am a family person but part of me is adventurous and thrilled by knowledge I am going to learn in college. Because I have a dream. .. I have a dream. It’s not just a career I wanna achieve but because I am happy to do it. And this, is my greatest motivation in life. To be happy in what I do and to make the people I love happy too. 🙂 Oh, there it rhymes.

Stop the drama. Having fun while studying in college is a good way to enjoy life. I don’t want to stress out myself in academics. I intend to balance it with my social life,  my relationship with my family, and most especially to the spiritual aspect of me.

Go with the flow. Study hard. Play hard. Rock hard. Life is too short to be worried by the things meant to happen. Whenever I fail at things, I always make it a point to meditate and to focus on what really matters the most- my relationship with God. with Jesus. It’s something that I cannot compare with earthly things. So whatever might happen this semester, I submit everything to God as I call upon to Him-my needs, my aspirations, my dreams and even my frustrations and pain. I’ll forever remember that He is leading me to the path that can make me a better person. a better daughter.

I admit. I fall. I rise. I commit mistakes. And I believe that I am confidently beautiful with a heart. (chos!) LOL haha

So if things won’t go in my way, I’ll be relying on God’s purpose in my life. I’ll just do my best and God will do the rest. The best is yet to come. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ Here I come UPV Miagao!

AJ,Signing off 😀 😛 ❤ 🙂

Are all of these things make sense?

We are living on a planet called earth. Each of us has their own stories to tell. My story is about my plans for life. Digging up from its most inner core, I admit that I’ve been so persistent to be the best version I can become. The way I see things, I want to do it in a way that I could attain the dream achievement of my life.

So I asked myself, “Are all of these things make sense?” At first, I doubted myself if I can really pursue what I wanted in life. I was trying to create different conclusions asking myself about my future plans. At the end of the day, we all lay down in bed  and say ” Life ” is what we make it.

I did face dramas, all the craps, failures , frustrations, criticisms, and other bullshits in life that made me realize that “SHIT HAPPENS” indeed. In fact, I am used to it by now. In my almost 19 years of existence, I realized that life is on how we really deal with it.

I keep on reminding myself that everything is according to God’s perfect plan for my life. Even though problems come along and obstacles pave its way to me, I will never be afraid to conquer it all because I trust God. I have all the issues in my life that could slow down my life’s progress but, how could I deny the fact that God is with me? That I just have to trust on Him and rely to whatever circumstances I might encounter, knowing He is with me. I am thankful for this life He give to me.

Even though, it is not perfect, I still choose to follow Him. He knows the way and the truth in my life. Challenges in school makes me wanna scream and give it up. But the promise of good future of Christ motivates me a lot.

Perseverance is essential in order for us to attain good results. But before anything else, I still make it to accept the fact that life on earth is a temporary journey that will come to pass. What matters most is our relationship with the One above who made us feel the happiness, the love, and the sorrows here on earth. Living is easy. In the past, myself used to struggle on things I thought that really matters the most.

As I went along my quest, I found out that this is not my final destination yet. Towards good goals in life, determination is a must. The heart needs to be heard, and our desires in life need attention. Equipped with perseverance and hard work are just recipes to reach our dreams.

The things I’ve lost in the daily battles of my life do not matter anymore. Because, I only gain in life. According to Job 1:21, “21 He said, “I was born with nothing, and I will die with nothing. The Lord gave, and now he has taken away. May his name be praised!”. Now, I come to my senses and concluded that this is the truth. The medals, awards, money, properties, and jewelries, I cannot bring all of these when I die. That’s why, material or worldly things don’t matter. What matters most is on how we turned out to be. Being molded by God’s grace and His will for our life brings us to wherever we are today.

Every decision I make, I always make it to the point that I let God know about it. I asked God if this is the right thing to say or to do. I always wanted to make God as daily part of my life. I may not know what the future beholds, but all I ever believe are the promises of Christ. According to Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you, to provide you a future and a hope.” I hold on to the words He left for me. I should not worry about what tomorrow comes for tomorrow will worry about itself. So let him have your worries and cares for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.(Peter 5:7).

In everything I wanted to do, I want to be happy. But being happy for myself is not the only thing I need. My greatest achievement in life is to make my parents happy. Oh, seeing their smiles and their laughter soothes my heart. And the most important thing of all, is to please God glorifying His name in every single day of my life. I love God, and I am not ashamed to tell the world how I feel. I’m trying to live life to the fullest, enjoying every moment, giving value to every little conversations with the people I meet and of course, in top of all, to love, and to feel love. Everything else makes sense to me now. It is clear to say…LIFE IS SIMPLY AMAZING.