Puting Rosas

Sa bawat paglakad ay damang dama ang labis na pagkasabik ng puso. Hindi maintindihan ang nadarama sa unang sulyap ng iyong mga mata. Tila bukambibig ang lahat ng matatamis na bagay sa mundo. Ang sarili ay ‘di maalintana sapagkat tumatangis ang bawat silakbol ng damdamin at ika’y niyakap sa unang pagkakataon… Oo, sa kauna-unahang pagkakataong nakita ka, sa wakas.

Kasing bilis rin ng dyip ang pag-apaw ng kasiyahang hatid ng bawat pag-ngiti. Hindi pansin ang paligid pagkat ang iyong paggalaw lamang ang tanging sinisilip. Sulyap ng mata’y hindi maiwas, karugtong ng pag-ambit ng bawat tinaga mula sa iyong malalim na pagbigkas na tila’y musika sa ‘king pandinig.

Mga kwentong marathon na hindi mahahalili sa mga nababasa sa telebisyon. Kahit maghapon na magkasama’y tuloy pa rin ang pagkilala sa isa’t isa na ‘di ko mawari na ganito pala… Ganito pala kaysarap titigan ang iyong mga mata, pakinggan ang iyong mga tinaga, ang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay, ang sumandal sa iyong balikat habang pinapakinggan ang musikang tayo lamang ang nakakarinig. Ganito pala kaysarap mahulog sa iyo, oh, giliw ko.

Di ko namalayan ang oras ng bawat pag patak ng segundo sa bawat pagtama ng ating mga mata ay tila natatamaan ang puso. Hahayaan nalang ang damdamin na tila langit ang nadarama tulad ng pagsikat ng araw sa silangan hanggang sa paglubog nito sa kanluran. Walang katapusang saloobin kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Sa kung ano ang meron sa wala at kung ano ang wala sa meron. Pagkat ‘di ko mapagtanto kung bakit tila ang pagtawa mo ang pinapapangarap ko.

Ang mga butuin sa kalangitan ay walang katulad sa kislap ng iyong mga mata. Ang pagdampi ng lamig ng hangin sa aking balat ay ‘di alintana pagkat ang presensya mo ay nangingibabaw. Isinawasiwas lamang ang pagka hiya ‘pagkat hangad lamang ay ang makilala ka. Hindi pansin ang mga taong nasa paligid dahil sa patuloy kong pinagmamasdan ang bawat anggulo mo na babaunin ko sa pag-alis. Sa pag-alis kong baon ang iyong mga ngiti at tawa, baon ang kwento mong salamin ng iyong buhay, baon ang mga alaalang parte ako ng buhay mo sa oras na ito.. mula sa ‘ting pagkikita hanggang sa aking pagsakay.

Sa pagduyan ay laman ng isipan ang pangakong hintayan. Sa dapit hapon ng ating pag liway, tugma ang bawat ritmo na sumasang-ayon sa labis na tiwala na ‘di malilimutan kailanpaman. Hindi linggid sa ‘king kaalaman na ganito pala kasaya ang isiping hindi ako nag-iisa sa pagtungo sa kinabukasan. Sa tuwina ay napapaindak sa saya, dama ang kaba, at lahat ng pwedeng madama sa hatid nitong hamon sa buhay ko. ‘Di mapigil ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso, tanong ko tuloy, ito na ba ang para sa akin?

Pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili sa kasiyahang parang sumasabog ang lahat ng nasa loob ko. Kasabay ng pag-agos ng dugo sa aking mga ugat ay ang paggulo ng sistema na ‘di ko lubos maintindihan. Ngunit kabigha-bighani ang kapayapaang natagpuan sa balikat mo nang sa pagsandal ko’y dama ang bawat sandali nito.

Walang pakundangan ang kulitan na sa’yo lamang iaalay. Pangako ay mananaig, magunaw man ang daigdig. Pero alam kong daig ka pa saken kung kiligin, awh ah. Hahahaha! Tila wala na ‘tong katapusan, tadhana na ang may sadya tulad ng kalawakang walang hanggan. Sa daraang araw, oras, at sandali,  dagdag sa mithiin ko sa buhay, ay aalayan ka ng pang-habangbuhay- wagas at tapat na suyuan hanggang sa huli oh, giliw ko.

October 29, 2016

 

 

Letters to Words to Phrases to Sentences to Feelings

Every single letter

that makes up the matter,

Of this and that,

From where I sat.

Every single word

that comes with worth,

Such things to wonder,

Those files in folder.

Every single phrase

Accounts to any craze.

Oh! such hanging thoughts,

That were never told.

Every single sentence

Comes with the essence,

That could make the mind happy,

Or that could make the mind grumpy.

Every single feeling,

Keeping me falling,

How can I deny?

To whom can I rely?

Every single unsent letter,

Compose of words that enter,

Striking the heart from phrases to sentences,

Stuck to the feeling of hollowness.

11/7/15

-AlmieJ.

Lonely Poet from Southeast

Almie Jane P. Catulay, Philippines

Across the vast ocean of Visayas,

There is an island called Panay,

Where this lonely poet resides,

It is where her education is located.

From the scorching heat of the sun,

To the singing breeze of wind,

She sailed across the islands of Surigao

To Cebu and To Iloilo.

Lovely view, she sees.

Hoping for hope,

A career in the future,

As lovely as a tree.

She doubts for golds and madness

Instead she aims for joy and fulfillness

The day her feet stop by in the port,

Feeling of loneliness she felt away.

Breakingaway those sorrows,

Working it out to and fro

Thoroughly embodied knowledge

And wisdom to be wise.

This lonely poet has a lover.

A lover from there province,

I say no months of tears,

Say no days of sadness.

There comes moments of despairs,

No one to hold, no one to cure.

Just a little prayer,

All she became was a healer.

Soon after the downs and failures,

Love will find her way,

All those broken promises and

Disappointments all faded away.

Strengthened her heart

Accepted the defeat,

All the love she ever receive,

She’s thankful as can be.

To be a fool is a choice,

To be a martyr twice is stupidity,

To be moron is a sin,

To be weak is illness.

The heart of the lonely poet,

All turned into pieces,

When she saw his loving lover,

Sitting down staring at another bliss.

Crying it loud last night

On the day of the hearts she lay,

One letter to God she sent,

Hoping for the recovery of her soul.

Painful as it may sound,

Hurting as it may to tell.

All the sacrificed joy all poured,

To a guy who just taken her for granted, I’m sure.

Deeper meaning of words,

The lonely poet sat down to write

A poem of feelings as it she call it,

Profound understanding is her hobby.

She tried to close her eyes,

She remembered the very detail

How he looks at her,

That stare he had given once for her.

The lonely poet tried to look back

Reminisced all the memories that they had

She asked why and where did she go wrong,

She asked what else am I less for?

Convincing oneself to love you is harsh

Pity is the source.

Like a rose, trampled on the ground,

Her feelings was dying for him.

Due to a numerous of chances,

Nothing changed just the becoming of worst,

Living through the promises of forever

Where would it take her by the lies?

Poor lonely poet,

All was left was her thoughts of feelings,

Being cheated, robbed by the man he trusts

She doesn’t know how to live by again,

New day has come,

New unfolded thoughts coming up.

It might be sounding so quick,

Atlast she comes to her senses.

To know her limits,

To know her worth,

Importance to her youth,

Significance to her existence.

Live not by giving the happiness to a person

Being careful enough to trust it all

Heart is just a fragile cause

Might be damaged and hard to heal itself.

She stand tall and let it go,

Everyday where she goes,

She will remember him,

Not just a memory but a lesson.

Wasted love she might say,

Through it all, it’s worth the try.

The trial in search for true love isn’t easy afterall.

In the long run, one will not leave you nor forsake you.

That’s Jesus Christ, she believes in Him,

The one real love of all,

Her faith on Him rising up

Like a phoenix on fire.

To love is for two,

Not just for one,

To love is to heal,

To forgive and to be humble.

To love and be loved in return,

To be happy, and to make someone happy,

To give and never expect to receive.

To create an everlasting sense of commitment.

Trust is important,

Never lose it.

Love is both a choice and a feeling.

Never take it for granted.

The lonely poet is moving on,

Leaving the past behind her.

To continue life,

And living life to the fullest.

She discovers that she has everything,

She has Christ, Family, Friends and good education.

She somehow realizes how important it is to take care of her heart.

To free herself from loss and let it not be part.

Her life is like a rolling stone,

Sometimes she’s up, sometimes she’s down.

But she never is afraid to walk thru it.

Along its final way, she knew she will survive.

The perfect time will come,

By God’s perfect plan it will be very soon.

To delight by God’s love,

Hope will never die from her heart.

The lonely poet never know where it will be going,

She will just enjoy the thrill or dismay.

But she believes in her heart,

God has prepared a man exclusively only for her.

“Come what may lonely poet, Come what may my dearest self.”