Puting Rosas

Sa bawat paglakad ay damang dama ang labis na pagkasabik ng puso. Hindi maintindihan ang nadarama sa unang sulyap ng iyong mga mata. Tila bukambibig ang lahat ng matatamis na bagay sa mundo. Ang sarili ay ‘di maalintana sapagkat tumatangis ang bawat silakbol ng damdamin at ika’y niyakap sa unang pagkakataon… Oo, sa kauna-unahang pagkakataong nakita ka, sa wakas.

Kasing bilis rin ng dyip ang pag-apaw ng kasiyahang hatid ng bawat pag-ngiti. Hindi pansin ang paligid pagkat ang iyong paggalaw lamang ang tanging sinisilip. Sulyap ng mata’y hindi maiwas, karugtong ng pag-ambit ng bawat tinaga mula sa iyong malalim na pagbigkas na tila’y musika sa ‘king pandinig.

Mga kwentong marathon na hindi mahahalili sa mga nababasa sa telebisyon. Kahit maghapon na magkasama’y tuloy pa rin ang pagkilala sa isa’t isa na ‘di ko mawari na ganito pala… Ganito pala kaysarap titigan ang iyong mga mata, pakinggan ang iyong mga tinaga, ang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay, ang sumandal sa iyong balikat habang pinapakinggan ang musikang tayo lamang ang nakakarinig. Ganito pala kaysarap mahulog sa iyo, oh, giliw ko.

Di ko namalayan ang oras ng bawat pag patak ng segundo sa bawat pagtama ng ating mga mata ay tila natatamaan ang puso. Hahayaan nalang ang damdamin na tila langit ang nadarama tulad ng pagsikat ng araw sa silangan hanggang sa paglubog nito sa kanluran. Walang katapusang saloobin kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Sa kung ano ang meron sa wala at kung ano ang wala sa meron. Pagkat ‘di ko mapagtanto kung bakit tila ang pagtawa mo ang pinapapangarap ko.

Ang mga butuin sa kalangitan ay walang katulad sa kislap ng iyong mga mata. Ang pagdampi ng lamig ng hangin sa aking balat ay ‘di alintana pagkat ang presensya mo ay nangingibabaw. Isinawasiwas lamang ang pagka hiya ‘pagkat hangad lamang ay ang makilala ka. Hindi pansin ang mga taong nasa paligid dahil sa patuloy kong pinagmamasdan ang bawat anggulo mo na babaunin ko sa pag-alis. Sa pag-alis kong baon ang iyong mga ngiti at tawa, baon ang kwento mong salamin ng iyong buhay, baon ang mga alaalang parte ako ng buhay mo sa oras na ito.. mula sa ‘ting pagkikita hanggang sa aking pagsakay.

Sa pagduyan ay laman ng isipan ang pangakong hintayan. Sa dapit hapon ng ating pag liway, tugma ang bawat ritmo na sumasang-ayon sa labis na tiwala na ‘di malilimutan kailanpaman. Hindi linggid sa ‘king kaalaman na ganito pala kasaya ang isiping hindi ako nag-iisa sa pagtungo sa kinabukasan. Sa tuwina ay napapaindak sa saya, dama ang kaba, at lahat ng pwedeng madama sa hatid nitong hamon sa buhay ko. ‘Di mapigil ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso, tanong ko tuloy, ito na ba ang para sa akin?

Pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili sa kasiyahang parang sumasabog ang lahat ng nasa loob ko. Kasabay ng pag-agos ng dugo sa aking mga ugat ay ang paggulo ng sistema na ‘di ko lubos maintindihan. Ngunit kabigha-bighani ang kapayapaang natagpuan sa balikat mo nang sa pagsandal ko’y dama ang bawat sandali nito.

Walang pakundangan ang kulitan na sa’yo lamang iaalay. Pangako ay mananaig, magunaw man ang daigdig. Pero alam kong daig ka pa saken kung kiligin, awh ah. Hahahaha! Tila wala na ‘tong katapusan, tadhana na ang may sadya tulad ng kalawakang walang hanggan. Sa daraang araw, oras, at sandali,  dagdag sa mithiin ko sa buhay, ay aalayan ka ng pang-habangbuhay- wagas at tapat na suyuan hanggang sa huli oh, giliw ko.

October 29, 2016

 

 

Letters to Words to Phrases to Sentences to Feelings

Every single letter

that makes up the matter,

Of this and that,

From where I sat.

Every single word

that comes with worth,

Such things to wonder,

Those files in folder.

Every single phrase

Accounts to any craze.

Oh! such hanging thoughts,

That were never told.

Every single sentence

Comes with the essence,

That could make the mind happy,

Or that could make the mind grumpy.

Every single feeling,

Keeping me falling,

How can I deny?

To whom can I rely?

Every single unsent letter,

Compose of words that enter,

Striking the heart from phrases to sentences,

Stuck to the feeling of hollowness.

11/7/15

-AlmieJ.

Playlist

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Louie is my brother,

I’ll always remember you.

Track I: Photograph, Ed Sheeran

As I try to look in your eyes, to follow some hint how to read upon your deepest thoughts, to have a glance on your “I’ll miss you” gestures, oh yes and you know what’s painful about to observe? it’s the hardest to look the wave of your hands…My dear little bro, this might be the thoughts running through your mind:

“And I know I’ll never be able to handle the hollowness I get when it is time to part ways. I break. I’ve done it all before, and every time is worse.

I have a choice to make. And it’s a big one. But I need to make all of the small choices first. I have to choose to keep going. To breathe. To be calm. Because I am not alone. And this was not goodbye. And if I can just fight through the crazy, I will be fine. “- LOUIE JADE

Asking for forgiveness, “Sorry manang kung kulang ta time”

No, you shouldn’t Hijo, those times we were together, having such a worthwhile conversations that I will never ever forget.

Track II: No good in goodbye, The Script

Just think about the good things,

On what sunshine will bring,

Think about the wide smiles,

That makes your life worthwhile.

Think about the cool times,

When you’re about to rhyme.

Think about how the birds fly,

As if you need not to cry.

Think about how the wind blows,

Our friendship always flows.

Think about our songs,

Letting you remember to never go wrong.

Think about the best of the best,

this is just a friendship test.

Think about the old ways,

Of yourself going nae-nae. (haha)

Think about positivity,

when you’re clouded with negativity.

Think about how the flowers bloom,

Someday, you’ll be an awesome groom.

Think about how I kept this going,

because words aren’t enough to express feelings.

Think about this song,

I intend to play all along:

All the things that we’ve lost
Breaking up comes at a cost
I know I’ll miss this mistake
Every word I try to choose
Either way I’m gonna lose
Can’t take the ache from heartbreak

Oh, but as you walk away
You don’t hear me say

Where’s the “good” in “goodbye”?
Where’s the “nice” in “nice try”?
Where’s the “us” in “trust” gone?
Where’s the “soul” in “soldier on”?
Now I’m the “low” in “lonely”
‘Cause I don’t own you only
I can take this mistake
But I can’t take the ache from heartbreak

No, I can’t take the ache from heartbreak

No matter how it falls apart
There’s an “art” in breaking hearts
But there’s no fair in farewell, no
And when I see you in the street
I pray to God you don’t see
The silent “hell” in “I wish you well.”
If I could turn back time then I would re-write those lines

Track III: See you again, Wiz Khalifa

To the person, I value, dear batchmate, dear friend, dear brother, dear Louie, I will see you again. Someday. That time will come, I know. I believe that every second I type this all for you is a second lost for you to go. It’s painful to know that we, all your friends have to let you go. But I do believe that our friendship will never end.

If two hearts are meant to be friends, no matter how long it takes, how far they go, how tough it seems, God will bring them togetehr to share friendship forever. We will see each other again.

I realize, one of the reasons why people hold on to memories so tight is because memories are the only things that don’t change when everything else does.

I’ll hold on to the numerous treasured moments we had. Always remember that your “Manang Almie” is just a chat away from you. 🙂 Keep safe cuz I care. Have faith in the Lord that things will go right. This is just one of His mighty plans. Never lose hope on anything, okay bro? 🙂 Our life is being written by the same Hand, using the same Pen. Do not worry if you are about to think on going trouble. 🙂 Think Happiness. It is within YOU. 🙂 God bless.

-Your Ate Almie ❤

To: Louie Jade Causing