Puting Rosas

Sa bawat paglakad ay damang dama ang labis na pagkasabik ng puso. Hindi maintindihan ang nadarama sa unang sulyap ng iyong mga mata. Tila bukambibig ang lahat ng matatamis na bagay sa mundo. Ang sarili ay ‘di maalintana sapagkat tumatangis ang bawat silakbol ng damdamin at ika’y niyakap sa unang pagkakataon… Oo, sa kauna-unahang pagkakataong nakita ka, sa wakas.

Kasing bilis rin ng dyip ang pag-apaw ng kasiyahang hatid ng bawat pag-ngiti. Hindi pansin ang paligid pagkat ang iyong paggalaw lamang ang tanging sinisilip. Sulyap ng mata’y hindi maiwas, karugtong ng pag-ambit ng bawat tinaga mula sa iyong malalim na pagbigkas na tila’y musika sa ‘king pandinig.

Mga kwentong marathon na hindi mahahalili sa mga nababasa sa telebisyon. Kahit maghapon na magkasama’y tuloy pa rin ang pagkilala sa isa’t isa na ‘di ko mawari na ganito pala… Ganito pala kaysarap titigan ang iyong mga mata, pakinggan ang iyong mga tinaga, ang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay, ang sumandal sa iyong balikat habang pinapakinggan ang musikang tayo lamang ang nakakarinig. Ganito pala kaysarap mahulog sa iyo, oh, giliw ko.

Di ko namalayan ang oras ng bawat pag patak ng segundo sa bawat pagtama ng ating mga mata ay tila natatamaan ang puso. Hahayaan nalang ang damdamin na tila langit ang nadarama tulad ng pagsikat ng araw sa silangan hanggang sa paglubog nito sa kanluran. Walang katapusang saloobin kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Sa kung ano ang meron sa wala at kung ano ang wala sa meron. Pagkat ‘di ko mapagtanto kung bakit tila ang pagtawa mo ang pinapapangarap ko.

Ang mga butuin sa kalangitan ay walang katulad sa kislap ng iyong mga mata. Ang pagdampi ng lamig ng hangin sa aking balat ay ‘di alintana pagkat ang presensya mo ay nangingibabaw. Isinawasiwas lamang ang pagka hiya ‘pagkat hangad lamang ay ang makilala ka. Hindi pansin ang mga taong nasa paligid dahil sa patuloy kong pinagmamasdan ang bawat anggulo mo na babaunin ko sa pag-alis. Sa pag-alis kong baon ang iyong mga ngiti at tawa, baon ang kwento mong salamin ng iyong buhay, baon ang mga alaalang parte ako ng buhay mo sa oras na ito.. mula sa ‘ting pagkikita hanggang sa aking pagsakay.

Sa pagduyan ay laman ng isipan ang pangakong hintayan. Sa dapit hapon ng ating pag liway, tugma ang bawat ritmo na sumasang-ayon sa labis na tiwala na ‘di malilimutan kailanpaman. Hindi linggid sa ‘king kaalaman na ganito pala kasaya ang isiping hindi ako nag-iisa sa pagtungo sa kinabukasan. Sa tuwina ay napapaindak sa saya, dama ang kaba, at lahat ng pwedeng madama sa hatid nitong hamon sa buhay ko. ‘Di mapigil ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso, tanong ko tuloy, ito na ba ang para sa akin?

Pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili sa kasiyahang parang sumasabog ang lahat ng nasa loob ko. Kasabay ng pag-agos ng dugo sa aking mga ugat ay ang paggulo ng sistema na ‘di ko lubos maintindihan. Ngunit kabigha-bighani ang kapayapaang natagpuan sa balikat mo nang sa pagsandal ko’y dama ang bawat sandali nito.

Walang pakundangan ang kulitan na sa’yo lamang iaalay. Pangako ay mananaig, magunaw man ang daigdig. Pero alam kong daig ka pa saken kung kiligin, awh ah. Hahahaha! Tila wala na ‘tong katapusan, tadhana na ang may sadya tulad ng kalawakang walang hanggan. Sa daraang araw, oras, at sandali,  dagdag sa mithiin ko sa buhay, ay aalayan ka ng pang-habangbuhay- wagas at tapat na suyuan hanggang sa huli oh, giliw ko.

October 29, 2016

 

 

In time

In time,

we would wonder why,

why things would happen out of our control.

 

In time,

we would be puzzled,

puzzled about how we handle our life.

 

In time,

we would be convinced,

convinced that life isn’t perfect.

 

In time,

we would become regretful,

regretful with the chances we didn’t take.

 

In time,

we would try to think,

think about the dreams we want to achieve.

 

In time,

we would realize,

realize that at the end of the day, we are left alone.

 

In time,

we would discover,

discover that we are free as birds fly above.

 

In time,

we would fight,

fight for the good fight of faith.

 

In time,

we would fly,

fly to the other side of the world to find ourselves.

 

In time,

we would ditch,

ditch our fears and doubts to face the unknown.

 

In time,

we would sacrifice,

sacrifice our life for someone to live.

 

In time,

we would make a choice,

make a choice between what you want or what is right.

 

In time,

we would forget,

forget about reality and truths.

 

In time,

we would struggle,

struggle to ride on the bumpy road of life.

 

In time,

we would forgive,

forgive ourselves from the mistakes we made.

 

In time,

we would wish,

wish that tomorrow will get better.

 

In time,

we would accept,

accept that life is what we make it.

 

In time,

we would do more,

do more than just exist.

 

Because in time,

we would love,

love to see the world much more differently.

 

Because in time,

we would smile,

smile despite the tears falling from our eyes.

 

Because in time,

we would hide,

hide the pain and make the world wonder why.

 

Because in time,

we would grow strong,

grow strong and never be afraid to go wrong.

 

Because in time,

we would feel,

feel the glimpse of heaven for real.

 

In time.

In time..

In time…

It’s Hard

It’s hard,

to check

to check whether you’re doing it right or not.

 

It’s hard,

to encourage

to encourage when you’re the one who needs it the most.

 

It’s hard,

to correct

to correct mistakes of yours than others.

 

It’s hard,

to pay

to pay attention when no one else’s listening.

 

It’s hard,

to react

to react in times in shock and dismay.

 

It’s hard,

to play

to play along the good side of story.

 

It’s hard,

to please

to please everyone about things.

 

It’s hard,

to talk

to talk things openly.

 

It’s hard,

to share

to share a life when you don’t know who cares about.

 

It’s hard,

to smile

to smile when the only thing left in your mind is to cry.

 

It’s hard,

to believe

to believe that something good might happen.

 

It’s hard,

to trust

to trust over and over and over and over and over again.

 

It’s hard,

to forgive

to forgive with open arms and ditch the disappointments.

 

It’s hard,

to forget

to forget all the feelings of sorrow and pain.

 

It’s hard,

to organize

to organize a life full of mess.

 

It’s hard,

to begin

to begin all over again.

 

It’s hard

to lie

to lie a smile when deep inside you’re bleeding.

 

It’s hard

to take

to take so much of other’s time.

 

It’s hard

to ask

to ask for love and importance.

 

It’s hard

to expect

to expect things that could lead to hurt.

 

It’s hard

to stumble

to stumble and fall because somebody has pushed you down.

 

It’s hard

to give

to give thanks when you’re at peak of being sorry.

 

It’s hard

to appreciate

to appreciate when everything around you is unworthy of seeing.

 

It’s hard

to spend

to spend time with yourself all alone in the dark.

 

It’s hard

to see

to see things differently from now and then.

 

It’s hard

to understand

to understand and understand and that’s the only thing that’s left.

 

It’s hard

to cry

to cry out loud on someone’s shoulders.

 

It’s hard

to listen

to listen the imperfectness of life.

 

It’s hard

to achieve

to achieve things that you can’t reach.

 

It’s hard

to create

to create happiness during those sad moments in time.

 

It’s hard

to wish

to wish for the things you can’t have.

 

It’s hard

to value

to value people when you have to let them go.

 

But….

 

 

It’s never been hard

to express

to express a love like this through this poem.

 

Are all of these things make sense?

We are living on a planet called earth. Each of us has their own stories to tell. My story is about my plans for life. Digging up from its most inner core, I admit that I’ve been so persistent to be the best version I can become. The way I see things, I want to do it in a way that I could attain the dream achievement of my life.

So I asked myself, “Are all of these things make sense?” At first, I doubted myself if I can really pursue what I wanted in life. I was trying to create different conclusions asking myself about my future plans. At the end of the day, we all lay down in bed  and say ” Life ” is what we make it.

I did face dramas, all the craps, failures , frustrations, criticisms, and other bullshits in life that made me realize that “SHIT HAPPENS” indeed. In fact, I am used to it by now. In my almost 19 years of existence, I realized that life is on how we really deal with it.

I keep on reminding myself that everything is according to God’s perfect plan for my life. Even though problems come along and obstacles pave its way to me, I will never be afraid to conquer it all because I trust God. I have all the issues in my life that could slow down my life’s progress but, how could I deny the fact that God is with me? That I just have to trust on Him and rely to whatever circumstances I might encounter, knowing He is with me. I am thankful for this life He give to me.

Even though, it is not perfect, I still choose to follow Him. He knows the way and the truth in my life. Challenges in school makes me wanna scream and give it up. But the promise of good future of Christ motivates me a lot.

Perseverance is essential in order for us to attain good results. But before anything else, I still make it to accept the fact that life on earth is a temporary journey that will come to pass. What matters most is our relationship with the One above who made us feel the happiness, the love, and the sorrows here on earth. Living is easy. In the past, myself used to struggle on things I thought that really matters the most.

As I went along my quest, I found out that this is not my final destination yet. Towards good goals in life, determination is a must. The heart needs to be heard, and our desires in life need attention. Equipped with perseverance and hard work are just recipes to reach our dreams.

The things I’ve lost in the daily battles of my life do not matter anymore. Because, I only gain in life. According to Job 1:21, “21 He said, “I was born with nothing, and I will die with nothing. The Lord gave, and now he has taken away. May his name be praised!”. Now, I come to my senses and concluded that this is the truth. The medals, awards, money, properties, and jewelries, I cannot bring all of these when I die. That’s why, material or worldly things don’t matter. What matters most is on how we turned out to be. Being molded by God’s grace and His will for our life brings us to wherever we are today.

Every decision I make, I always make it to the point that I let God know about it. I asked God if this is the right thing to say or to do. I always wanted to make God as daily part of my life. I may not know what the future beholds, but all I ever believe are the promises of Christ. According to Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you, to provide you a future and a hope.” I hold on to the words He left for me. I should not worry about what tomorrow comes for tomorrow will worry about itself. So let him have your worries and cares for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.(Peter 5:7).

In everything I wanted to do, I want to be happy. But being happy for myself is not the only thing I need. My greatest achievement in life is to make my parents happy. Oh, seeing their smiles and their laughter soothes my heart. And the most important thing of all, is to please God glorifying His name in every single day of my life. I love God, and I am not ashamed to tell the world how I feel. I’m trying to live life to the fullest, enjoying every moment, giving value to every little conversations with the people I meet and of course, in top of all, to love, and to feel love. Everything else makes sense to me now. It is clear to say…LIFE IS SIMPLY AMAZING. 

Shooting Goals

Do you believe in shooting stars?

I believe so. I believe that stars are like our goals in life.

I have to keep on dreaming. To make something happen.

I have to keep running. To keep on the faith I have in myself within. There are times when we set foot to the downhill side of the mountain and afraid to step forward.

Oh well, Climb! Go to the extra mile. 🙂 I always tell myself to never give up. As I do my best today, I’ll get the best rest not too soon. That’s how I want to reward myself.

🙂 Shooting goals are my shooting stars. But the only difference is that, I don’t wish upon a star but I make a move to make it happen.

And that dream, I’ll start working it on, TODAY.

I’ll do better tomorrow. But Today, I’ll do my best. 🙂