Rotten words, Rotten minds

As far as I can remember, I ‘ve gone through worst… worst that you can ever imagine. The process I undertook last 4 years ago had brought me the sense of individuality that shaped my mind as of this moment. I barely remember the scenes and exact words to note but I could still feel the intensity of what I had experienced from that part of my life.

Those who really knew my story branded me as a strong woman on pace of this life. I have gone through numerous ups and downs in life. Psychological tortures and physical ones which some of my friends never knew about. I intended to just shut it up but it came too soon on my mind that I should just write a blog about my deepest feelings… Those untold ones.

I have encountered battles on which I carefully chosen. Knowing ones level of character is enough for me to either enjoy the show or be with the serye. I doubt that most people would want the supporting role. Of course, most of them liked it to be the center of attraction. It’s always been that way. Never realized it yet?

I met a lot of people almost different and almost similar ones. It just, overwhelms me to observe how some acted to be too good at the start in front of you but suddenly they begins to be ignorant behind your back. “Contempt” “Jealousy” “Envy” those three words would roll side by side to pull you down. Their goals is to pull you down when they see something great about you. That’s life. Shit happens and you just gotta never care such bullshits.

Its funny how I used to hear fluttering words from anyone yet as time goes by, the authenticity fades away sooner just because you can’t give what they want or just because you are above them. For real, I mean, if they can’t reach you, they wanted you to be pulled over. Its so funny and very entertaining at least. Like a circus trail. Pretending to be something and making themselves pretentious as fuck just to smell great yet they rot on the inside.

Who would ever want to speak out of junk on the sea side? Most people out there do. They just spit out toxicity and polluting themselves every now and then. They are trying to outwit anybody and tell themselves they are the better person. What a waste of time babbling on such messes. You know what I mean. Ever experienced such things? HAHAHA I guess my very existence would threaten their own good. My goodness!

While others are so infuriating, best people would come and most of them are the ones who never tell a single fat lie about you. WE all demand for authenticity yet it is so hypocrite for others to be pretentious that they are the better ones. Making issues and correcting your mind by a crippled mind is too funny. Bad mouthing other people just to make them feel good. Too entertaining. pffftttt.

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any other ordinary day to ponder

I sat down and thought something so deeply. I came to conclusion that what hurts you can destroy you. So what I have to do is to have a choice. Either to become miserable or simply… motivate myself.

I want to do better. Because I want to be a person of worth and value.

I want to strive more for my education. Because I want to know my purpose.

I want to be happier. Because of the promise of tomorrow.

I want to have a meaningful life. Because life is short to waste for nothing.

I want to soar high. Because I am destined to bloom.

I want to make my family and friends happy. Because I feel great seeing them with smiles.

I want to do my best for everything. Because putting my heart to it keeps me alive.

I want to try and try and never give up. Because surrendering makes no progress at all.

I want to trust my life to God. Because He is my Master.

I want to dedicate my life to Jesus Christ. Because I believe on the promises He made for me.

I want to live life to the fullest. Laugh, or Cry, make mistakes but learn. Set aside the pain and imagine a life of content and compassion. To be able to forgive, to trust again, while making the ride worthwhile. Of course, I want to reach my dreams, for God, for myself, and for my family.

Lastly, I want to fall in love.

To feel its magic reach through my heart, extends through my blood and bursts through my cells. How wonderful it is to love and to be loved in return. Everyone’s wishing for a Prince. And so am I.

But.. I don’t wish. Instead, I pray.

I fervently pray that someday he’ll come from a lightning bolt, sparks fly and flashes strike. It would be a dream come true. I know that God is currently preparing “him” for our meeting. I may not know who “he” is but I believe that “he” is exclusively created to love me forever. What a sweet dream it is. I want someone who will give me three roses that will NEVER ever die. Because for me, LOVE is God. If LOVE is God, He wanted to also show His love for us through the people we meet in life. That’s why I put value to every single person I have in my life because they keep me going. They are what I call “Priceless Blessings” – my Family, my Friends and to my dear unknown “Future Sweetheart to be”. Love is love. 🙂 I choose happiness- inspires me to wake up with determination and go to bed with satisfaction. It always depends on the person’s perspective. I pray that all of us (including you reading this), would have a positive outlook in life.

God loves us and I believe that through Jesus Christ we are saved. The Holy Spirit moved me to write what I’m feeling right now. It helped me to feel better already. (aweeee) Thanks God! 🙂

This is just any other ordinary day to ponder upon. And so, God bless everyone! Gonna study Analytic Chem. Good night!!!!! :)))

Droplets of Rain

August 15, 2014

❤

High above from its deepest shines the warming glow of sun. Spinning through the wind, catching the sun’s little particles and chasing the clouds. Frozen valleys cloaked within the vast tip toe, stories behold in sights of an eye.Colorful bliss ran down my veins, seeing the oceans crawlin’ under my feet. Carved in my heart is swollen grace and joy. Wonders of life, golden tree fruitful blessings abided the light tempting shadows. As droplets flow thru the meddow, crunches of growls despite the oddness it brings. Grudges fades, collided with freedom as it flees flawlessly. Rain, Rain, Rain, ain’t you got nothing to say, express your love in a warm way. Stop the cryin’ showers, broken sunshine blossoms at dawn. New beginnings, new love, new life.. Rainbow smiles after the rain. Lil droplets, oh little bitty ones, your beauty is beyond compare, I’ll never see what a man can foresee, this feelin’ can’t go wrong , this feeling is in fire, I come to close my eyes, and feel the breath of life.