Lonely Poet from Southeast

Almie Jane P. Catulay, Philippines

Across the vast ocean of Visayas,

There is an island called Panay,

Where this lonely poet resides,

It is where her education is located.

From the scorching heat of the sun,

To the singing breeze of wind,

She sailed across the islands of Surigao

To Cebu and To Iloilo.

Lovely view, she sees.

Hoping for hope,

A career in the future,

As lovely as a tree.

She doubts for golds and madness

Instead she aims for joy and fulfillness

The day her feet stop by in the port,

Feeling of loneliness she felt away.

Breakingaway those sorrows,

Working it out to and fro

Thoroughly embodied knowledge

And wisdom to be wise.

This lonely poet has a lover.

A lover from there province,

I say no months of tears,

Say no days of sadness.

There comes moments of despairs,

No one to hold, no one to cure.

Just a little prayer,

All she became was a healer.

Soon after the downs and failures,

Love will find her way,

All those broken promises and

Disappointments all faded away.

Strengthened her heart

Accepted the defeat,

All the love she ever receive,

She’s thankful as can be.

To be a fool is a choice,

To be a martyr twice is stupidity,

To be moron is a sin,

To be weak is illness.

The heart of the lonely poet,

All turned into pieces,

When she saw his loving lover,

Sitting down staring at another bliss.

Crying it loud last night

On the day of the hearts she lay,

One letter to God she sent,

Hoping for the recovery of her soul.

Painful as it may sound,

Hurting as it may to tell.

All the sacrificed joy all poured,

To a guy who just taken her for granted, I’m sure.

Deeper meaning of words,

The lonely poet sat down to write

A poem of feelings as it she call it,

Profound understanding is her hobby.

She tried to close her eyes,

She remembered the very detail

How he looks at her,

That stare he had given once for her.

The lonely poet tried to look back

Reminisced all the memories that they had

She asked why and where did she go wrong,

She asked what else am I less for?

Convincing oneself to love you is harsh

Pity is the source.

Like a rose, trampled on the ground,

Her feelings was dying for him.

Due to a numerous of chances,

Nothing changed just the becoming of worst,

Living through the promises of forever

Where would it take her by the lies?

Poor lonely poet,

All was left was her thoughts of feelings,

Being cheated, robbed by the man he trusts

She doesn’t know how to live by again,

New day has come,

New unfolded thoughts coming up.

It might be sounding so quick,

Atlast she comes to her senses.

To know her limits,

To know her worth,

Importance to her youth,

Significance to her existence.

Live not by giving the happiness to a person

Being careful enough to trust it all

Heart is just a fragile cause

Might be damaged and hard to heal itself.

She stand tall and let it go,

Everyday where she goes,

She will remember him,

Not just a memory but a lesson.

Wasted love she might say,

Through it all, it’s worth the try.

The trial in search for true love isn’t easy afterall.

In the long run, one will not leave you nor forsake you.

That’s Jesus Christ, she believes in Him,

The one real love of all,

Her faith on Him rising up

Like a phoenix on fire.

To love is for two,

Not just for one,

To love is to heal,

To forgive and to be humble.

To love and be loved in return,

To be happy, and to make someone happy,

To give and never expect to receive.

To create an everlasting sense of commitment.

Trust is important,

Never lose it.

Love is both a choice and a feeling.

Never take it for granted.

The lonely poet is moving on,

Leaving the past behind her.

To continue life,

And living life to the fullest.

She discovers that she has everything,

She has Christ, Family, Friends and good education.

She somehow realizes how important it is to take care of her heart.

To free herself from loss and let it not be part.

Her life is like a rolling stone,

Sometimes she’s up, sometimes she’s down.

But she never is afraid to walk thru it.

Along its final way, she knew she will survive.

The perfect time will come,

By God’s perfect plan it will be very soon.

To delight by God’s love,

Hope will never die from her heart.

The lonely poet never know where it will be going,

She will just enjoy the thrill or dismay.

But she believes in her heart,

God has prepared a man exclusively only for her.

“Come what may lonely poet, Come what may my dearest self.”

Parang Kailan lang?

Sobrang tatag ng aking isipan ngayon sa mga maraming kapana-panabik na mga mangyayari sa taong ito. Noon, pawang isipan ko ay gulong-gulo sa mga eksenang masyadong madrama. Ngayon, mas pinapatatag ko ang anking kaloobang mag-sumikap nang makatapos sa pag-aaral. 

Hindi ko mawari kung anong kahihinatnan ng desisyon kong ito, basta’t ang alam ko lang ay ang aking pagtatagumpay ay magbubunga ng kasiyahan sa ‘king mga magulang na syang umagapay sa ‘kin para mag sumikap na igapang ako sa pag-aaral. Masasabi kong, malayo man ang aking pinagmulan, hindi rito nasusukat ang pag-asa sa’king puso na makapagtapos ng kolehiyo alang-alang sa mga taong naniniwala sa’king kakayahan. Higit kong inaalay ito sa Panginoong Diyos na syang nag bigay ng lakas sa’ken.

Hayyy. Next week na ang pasukan. Ewan ko lang kung ano ‘yung sasalubong sa kin, basta’t sa sarili ko, alam ko ang gusto ko. Papanindigan ko ‘to. Tatapusin ko ‘to. Kahit anong mangyari.

Marami narin akong narinig mula sa ibang estudyante na “UNDANG NA LANG KO”, OR “GIKAPOI NAKO”. Hindi ko kayang magbitaw ng mga ganitong salita sa buong buhay ko. Tanging sarili ko lamang ang makakatalo sa’kin kung magkaganon man sa oras na susuko na ako. Syempre, hinding-hindi ako susuko para sa ‘king mga pinapangarap. Sa buhay, pinapahalagahan ko ang meron ako ngayon… at pinapahalagahan ko rin ang mga ninanais ko sa hinaharap. ‘Di mawawala jan ang sariling bahay, lupa, swimming pool, negosyo, sasakyan, masaya at maginhawang pamumuhay. Naniniwala akong ang edukasyon ang solusyon sa kahirapan. Para na rin sa kinabukasan ng pamilya ko sa hinaharap, gusto ko silang makatikim ng masaganang buhay. Para sa’king mga magulang at kapatid, umaasa sila na ako’y makakapagtapos para makatulong na rin sa paghahanap buhay nang sa ganon ay ako ang magpapa-aral ng kapatid ko.

Malaking tulong ang pananalig sa Diyos at pagtitiwala sa sarili. Samut saring mga negatibo ang pinuno ko sa’king isipan noon nang ako’y naghihintay pa lamang ng resulta sa ‘king pag shift sa kursong gustong-gusto ko. Sabi ko noon nang nagfifill-up pa lang ako ng form before ako nagtake ng UPCAT, “ay, bahala sa Iloilo basta’t ang kursong gusto ko ang makukuha ko.” Kaya linagay kong first choice campus:UP VISAYAS, a.Chemical Engineering b. Accountancy. 

Kaya lang, ‘di ako pinalad na makapasok niisa samga pinili ko. Kahit nakapasa ako sa UPCAT, “DPWAS” naman ang resulta ng kurso ko o Degree Program With Available Slots. WEW. grave. Ang saya-saya ko talaga nun nung nalaman kong nakapasa ako. ‘Yun nga lang ang problema… 😦 is.. Kailangan ko pa palang mag susummer bridge sa Math nun kasi mababa ang kuha ko sa math. Kaya mas naging maaga ang pag punta ko sa Miagao, Iloilo. Ahay… hanggang natapos ang Summer Bridge Program sa Math, dun nalang ako sa dorm naghintay hanggang pasukan. Naghanap ako sa Registrar kung mayroon pa bang slot na available. Linagay naman nila ako sa BS in Fisheries. 

Naging okay lang naman ang 1st sem ko sa Fish, masaya naman at ‘dun ako sumuko sa pangarap kong maging isang Chemical Engineer. OH DIBA? *.*

Sa pagsisimula ng 2nd sem, parang may sumanib na spirito ng pag-asa sa’kin. Nang maging CS ako o College Scholar sa first sem, parang, may kung anong aura ang namuo sa ‘king damdamin na mag shift sa kursong gusto ko, at ito ang mga samut saring kadahilanan:

1. Ayokong tumanda na magsisi dahil hindi ko kinuha ang pagkakataong makapasok sa gusto kong kurso.

2. Ayokong ibalewala ang gusto ng sarili ko.

3. Gusto kong magtayo ng Winery sa Surigao.

4. Gusto kong maging isang Engineer.

5. Gusto kong magpa inspire sa kapwa kong kabataan na matutuong maghintay sa pinapangarap.

6. Gusto kong gawin ang mga gusto ko habang may panahon pa.

7. Gusto kong magpakatotoo sa sarili ko.

Ito, ang mga simpleng sagot kung bakit ako nag SHIFT. Alam kong, sa mga Fish Friends ko, sila’y nalulungkot, at naging happy for me dahil sa nakamit ko na sa wakas ang matagal kong pinapangarap. Hindi maipagpapalit ang tuwang nagmumula sa’king damdamin. Naway gabayan ako ng Diyos sa mga LONG EXAMS na aking susuungin. Alam ko sa sarili ko na sa bandang huli, ang lahat ng pinaghirapan ay mamumunga ng mabuti at kailangan lamang ng tyaga sa bawat panahong igugugol ko sa pag-aaral. 

MABUHAY ANG MGA ISKOLAR NG BAYAN. 🙂

The Journey of My Life

Palapit na nang palapit na matapos ang bakasyon ko. AGOSTO 6, 2014, maglalayag na naman kami ni Sean, para sa panibagong pagharap sa buhay. Isang panibagong hakbang para sa ‘king kinabukasan. Naway gabayan ako ng Panginoon para mapanindigan ko ‘tong pinili kong daan sa pagtahak ng aking mga pangarap. Chemical Engineering…. mapag-aaralan na rin kita sa wakas. Help me Lord, to continue my journey with strength and faith to believe in myself in times of difficulties. I’d rather be lost without You. To my family here in Surigao City, thankyou for the love and happiness we’ve shared. Woh! UP Visayas, here I come.