Studies First

As I start to realize that I have grown such strong attachment to someone than anybody else.

This time, I have driven all my emotions to an end so that I can ease the pain.

I held tears but I can’t.

I hid all the grudge but I can’t.

And it seems that I was the only one suffering to this type of teenage problem in which I never expected to have.

Somehow my childhood days were colorful, I wonder why I changed and became an “EMO” all the way of entering in my college years.

I have decided not to be drowned by tears while studying and so I have come up with an idea to stop something I have been doing for the past two years.

And that’s….

TO STOP LOVING A PERSON

whom you thought that will love you more than you do.

whom you thought that will bring out the best in you.

whom you thought that will never leave you no matter what.

whom you thought that will be holding your hands forever.

whom you thought that will never make you cry.

whom you thought that will make a thousands laughs for you.

whom you thought that will see to it that you’re okay.

whom you thought that will text you and call you every night.

whom you thought that will handle your feelings carefully.

whom you thought that will not take you for granted.

whom you thought that will be there for you when you have problems.

whom you thought that will help you out.

whom you thought that will strengthen you.

whom you thought that will keep his promises of “4ever”

whom you thought that will never leave…

BUT HE LEFT.

All this emotional expos of mine are just “pautwas”.

In the sense that I’ve tried my best for that particular person, but my best wasn’t good enough to make him stay in my life. Am I too cruel? too demanding? too OA? too ugly? too pretty? (oh, well)

Somewhat, I have come to the point where I felt hopelessness in life. From that moment, I realized that I made a mistake for giving myself wholeheartedly to a man who’s not worth my tears. Doing my best is maybe just a piece of shit for him.

What does it take to commit yourself to give time and effort for the one you love?

Is it that hard?

My heart was crushed by this person whom I thought is “THE ONE”.

Seems like I was wrong.

Even though I have been experiencing heartaches for the past 2 years since I met him, loved him, but I didn’t want to hold unto grudges towards him. I am a forgivable person and also, I don’t want to tear my heart apart by being mad always.

I may be single for now, but I know I am not alone with the presence of Jesus who is my Savior in my life. Moving on is easy if I will just have to trust on His words: “I am the way, the truth, and the life”, I believe that through Him and in Him, I will achieve “PEACE” in my heart.

In addition, I will just have to focus on what’s important in my life. Knowing my priorities is a must. I am a goal-oriented person who wants to be a Chemical Engineer someday. Of course, I always prayed and hoping to reach my dreams soon. I know I am one day closer to the answers just as the time flies.

I might lose my objectives if I will choose to be miserable all the time. Why not smile and let the world wonder why?

Right? 🙂

For now, I will trust for God’s perfect timing.

Love is not a fairy tale here on earth. I know my life is just temporary here on land but with JESUS CHRIST who lifted up my spirit, with my family who became my inspiration, with friends who supported me and with all the gifts/blessings of God that keeps me going, I am greatly motivated.

Studies first, my passion for studying will never end.

Let me end this article with this saying, “I may be bent but not broken, because if God brings you to it, He will brings you through it..”

God bless everyone. Love Love Love 🙂

-SoulWriter2k14