Consistency

Sea view of Kuliatan Marine Sanctuary, San Joaquin, Iloilo, Philippines 📸: Almie Jane

Author: Almie Jane

“Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t be afraid to stand firm on the decisions that you make. Trust yourself. Believe in your instincts. Do what works best for YOU. Stay true to yourself and be good to yourself. Allow every decision that you make to empower, enrich, and add value to your life!”

-Stephanie Lahart

Throughout my student life in the University, I have strived hard to stay consistent about consistency. It is a promise which spells dependability and longevity to sustain peak performance. Everyday, I’ve always see to it to organize my schedule and simply follow it. I tried to practice on replicating positive behaviour each workload day after day. I’ve been juggling different parts of my life using the power of consistency- relationships, studies, univ activities, and of course, my well-being as a person.

“Self-care is so important, particularly if there are others depending on you, and a regular and consistent routine is an essential part of that care.”

-Christina Passarella

Because I believe that even the best plans will fail without a dedication to consistency.

There will always be obstacles along the way that challenge you while leaving you no choice but to push through the limits. In the face of strong resistance, it is best to always stand up for what you believe in. But what does it take to be consistent ourselves?

According to Michal Kornozek in his blog on Minimalist Journaling: A Fun and Effective Tool for Tremendous Habit Change l,

“Consistency has always been a challenge for me. Despite defining clear goals for myself, I have always struggled to create the habits that would lead me to fulfill them. I had the motivation and time, yet I would consistently fail somewhere around day 10. Failure kept leaving me angry and frustrated, and compounded into a disbelief in my ability to succeed… “

-Michal Korzonek

I have learned that this has something to do with standards-you must enforce compliance to a set of standards. Well, as for me, everybody has their own standard of living and it depends whether a person is dedicated enough or not. Practicing consistency isn’t as easy as it seems to be. It needs to undergo a process to make it a habit by identifying the main points.

You need to make specific and realistic goals [1]. By creating your personal schedule is an important step to keep you on track [2]. Sometimes, it is easy to forget new goals, habits, commitments, or promises, especially when we make them to ourselves. To remind yourself throughout the day, put messages to yourself in visible areas [3]. Never forget to make promises only if you can keep them. It is easy to get overwhelmed, however, if you make too many promises. If you think a request may be difficult to do, say no [4]. Take some time to also reward yourself when you get something done. Even small goals deserve small rewards to help keep you motivated throughout the process [5].

You have to be ready to challenge yourself do better everyday. Know what to prioritize for a greater purpose. There will always be people who break the rules or grease the wheels to earn an unfair advantage for themselves.

But you need to keep going if you make a mistake. Plan for potential failure, and don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake along the way [6]. Consistency doesn’t mean that you are working all of the time. So take time off to recharge [7]. Use motivational tools to keep going even when you don’t feel like it. Try to find new sources of motivation if you’re feeling down or lazy [8]. Always, always hold yourself accountable. To be consistent means you have to make sure that you recognize when you don’t reach the standards and goals that you’ve set [9].

Changing your thinking is a great help to implement a leap to consistency.

You need to give yourself time to see changes [10]. Set boundaries for your commitments and personal relationships [11]. Most importantly, build your willpower to achieve goals [12]. In order to manifest these things, you have to eliminate negative thinking turn them around or introduce a more positive or neutral thought. So for example if you find yourself thinking “I can’t do this,” turn it around and think, “I’m going to practice doing this, even if I’m not great at it to start with [13].”

I believe that by being consistent pays off in the long run. Just like hard work, consistency can become a person’s strength towards success. This require optimism and productiveness throughout the process. Start with setting for small goals, and when you achieve them, you’ll be more confident to aim for bigger goals.

References:

Passarella, Christina (2018). The Life-Changing Power of Consistency           

Korzonek, Michal (2018). Minimalist Journaling: A Fun and Effective Tool for Tremendous Habit Change

1.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals

2.https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/291912

3.https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-improve-your-consistency/

4.http://changingminds.org/techniques/how_to/trust_me/keep_promises.htm

5.https://www.inc.com/chris-dessi/10-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself-every-day.html

6.http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234325

7.https://www.inc.com/chris-dessi/10-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself-every-day.html

8.https://www.inc.com/chris-dessi/10-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself-every-day.html

9.http://www.inc.com/eric-v-holtzclaw/consistency-power-success-rules.html

10.https://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=759

11.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201305/the-importance-maintaining-consistent-boundaries

12.http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-happiness/201204/5-tips-boosting-your-willpower

13.https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-improve-your-consistency/

Heartbreak

‘Pag naiisip ko siya, nalulungkot ako. I acted like it wasn’t a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart. Dahil sa pinagkatiwalaan ko siya ng lubos at iniwan niya lang ako sa huli. Hindi ko inakalang darating din ‘yung point na magiging ganito.

‘Yung sakit na nakakamatay. Aray. Ouch. Parang sinaksak ang dibdib ko ng milyong beses. Wow. Inasa ko sa kanya ang kaligayahan ko, ginawa ko ang lahat ng makakaya ko para mapasaya ko lang siya, pero wala eh. Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.

Seryoso na ako sa pag-ibig ko, eh siya ba, minahal niya ba talaga ako? Feeling ko, ang puso ko’y napaglaruan lamang. Mahina akong tao, pero nagpapakatatag ako para sa sarili, pamilya at para kay God. The biggest mistake I have made in my life is letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve.

Deserve ko ba talaga ang ganitong kapalaran? It feels like, no matter how good of a woman I am, I will never be good enough to a man who isn’t ‘Ready’. Parang gusto ko nalang umiyak ng balde-baldeng luha. Kasi.. masakit.. masakit ‘yung maipagpalit ka lang sa iba. Masakit ‘yung minamahal mo siya kahit sinasaktan ka niya. Masakit kasi, may iba na siya dahil sa distansya niyong milya-milya. Sukatan ba talaga ang distansya sa pagmamahal? It feels like I’m losing myself trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing me.

Nakakatawang isipin na for two years, nasa kanya ang sentro ng mundo ko. Ang mahahabang reply, at mga gabi-gabing puyatan ay nasayang lang pala. “You were never supposed to mean this much to me; I was never supposed to fall so hard. But you know what? I did and that’s the truth, that’s what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go.” Naging motto ko ‘to DATI. Pero ngayon. Nagpapakamanhid ako sa nasapit kong ito. Mabigat sa loob syempre na ipagpalit ka sa ibang babae nang hindi mo alam. “Maybe one day, I’ll be what you need. But don’t wait too long… Because the day you want me, may be the day I’ve finally given up..”

Akala ko talaga, Siya na ang THE ONE- GOD’S WILL kumbaga. Akala ko lang ‘yun dre. AKALA KO LANG. Nais kong sumigaw sa sobrang sakit, pero may makakarinig pa ba? No matter how strong a girl is, she always has a breaking point.

What screw us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be. Because supposedly, pinangako naming sa isa’t-isa na maghihintayan.. Unfortunately, SHIT HAPPENS. If someone is stupid enough to walk away from you, be smart enough to let them go.

At ‘eto pa ang pinaka-matinde, Siya pa ang nakipagbreak saken. Ang tanga ko rin naman para maniwala sa cool-off at space niya. I told myself : “ Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. Sometimes a good heart doesn’t see the bad.”

Sana masabihan ko ang next girl na mag-ingat sa mga kasinungalingan niya. He asked for a chance last October 16, 2013 at nakipag-break lang pag ika 14 ng Pebrero, 2014. Wow. Belib din ako sa galing niya. Blockbuster hit. Parang sampal sa pagkababae ko ang ginawa niya. That’s what happens when you let people in, and they destroy you.

Summer days of 2014, stupid me. Lagi pa rin kaming nagkikita kahit wala na kami for the sake that I hope that we could work things out again. Minsan bulag talaga ang pag-ibig, kahit nagpapakatanga ka na, ‘GO LANG NG GO dre!’. So, If a girl understands your bullshit, sticks through your mistakes, smiles even when you’ve done nothing for her, it’s obvious she’s a keeper. But it’s also obvious that you don’t deserve her. BOOM.

Ang sakit talaga. Ang sakit sakit ng ginawa niya sa’kin. Ewan ko lang kung mapapatawad ko pa siya o ang mismong sarili ko. What’s wrong with me? Ano bang kakulangan ko? Ganito ba ‘pag sobra kang magmahal dapat na sobra ring masaktan? All of us, wanted to love and be loved in return. To feel we are valued and cared for. One of the hardest things to do in life, is letting go of what you thought was real.

Sana, mapatawad ko pa siya at ang sarili ko. Gusto kong makalimot sa sakit na dulot ng nakaraan. Maybe, just maybe.. I entrusted my heart to the wrong guy. He borrowed my heart yet he just returned it to me broken in pieces. I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen. Oh Dear Me, it may seem like the wrong thing to do but you have to forget about the guy who forgot about you.

Lagi nalang ganito sa aming dalawa, paulit-ulit… away-bati. Sasaya ka sa piling niya dahil after niyang mag-“sorry”, papatawarin agad. No questions ask. Pero pag sinaktan ka niya, hayun, iiyak ka na naman. Minsan, naiisip ko na ang hina kong babae. Yes, I admit it. I cried a lot everytime he hurts me. Pinapababa ko na pride ko, but even so, it seems nothing matters to what I say to him. I struggled to fix every problem we have… but it also seems, the fight I’m trying to win is the fight that I am going to be defeated in the end.

One of the hardest things to do in life is walk away from someone you love. But sometimes you have no choice.(sigh*)

Dahil sa kanya, mas nalilimutan ko na ‘yung mga bagay na importante pa sa isang romantic relationship. Lesson learned. I said to myself: “Ayoko na ng ganitong paulit-ulit na cycle.” She moved on, and I feel sorry for you, because she thought you were the most amazing boy ever. If she could have had any guy in the world, she still would have picked you. Now, you’re just another part of her past, a memory more faded every day. And someday, she’ll find the one she deserves, and he will make her the happiest girl in the world.

Babangon ako sa pagkakalugmok ng sarili. This is my greatest downfall in life. But I have faith in the Lord, and I still have the people I value the most in my life- Mama, Papa and Sis, Friends that always support me. I believe that the ones who love you will never leave you. Even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on.

Actually, ‘di ko naman talaga kailangan ng guy para madama kong “loved” ako at para ma prove and existence ko ditto sa world. Every girl is a freak, it just takes the right guy to bring it out. Eenjoyin ko ‘tong single life ko, dahil alam kong minsan lang ang maging Malaya. Hindi man kami nag work-out, alam kong darating din ang taong babago ng pananaw ko sa buhay at ang taong magtuturo sa ‘kin kung paano magmahal. Ang madarama ang tunay na kahulugan nito and the one guy who will bring out the best of me.

Yung lalaking yun, sana mahanap niya na rin ang taong para sa kanya. I wish I could hurt you the way you hurt me. But I know that if I had the chance, I wouldn’t do it. Siguro, sa ngayon, nasasaktan pa rin ako, pero, I will never forget the things I’ve learned in a relationship. Ang pag-ingatan ang puso at ipagkatiwala lamang sa taong deserving nito.

Forgiving you is my gift to you. Moving on is my gift to myself. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe it’s you on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

God didn’t give me the strength to get back on me feet so that I can run back to the same thing that knocked me down.

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, and overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It’s learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon again. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It’s realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path, and to set you free. ❤

2012-2014

#RBA

Parang Kailan lang?

Sobrang tatag ng aking isipan ngayon sa mga maraming kapana-panabik na mga mangyayari sa taong ito. Noon, pawang isipan ko ay gulong-gulo sa mga eksenang masyadong madrama. Ngayon, mas pinapatatag ko ang anking kaloobang mag-sumikap nang makatapos sa pag-aaral. 

Hindi ko mawari kung anong kahihinatnan ng desisyon kong ito, basta’t ang alam ko lang ay ang aking pagtatagumpay ay magbubunga ng kasiyahan sa ‘king mga magulang na syang umagapay sa ‘kin para mag sumikap na igapang ako sa pag-aaral. Masasabi kong, malayo man ang aking pinagmulan, hindi rito nasusukat ang pag-asa sa’king puso na makapagtapos ng kolehiyo alang-alang sa mga taong naniniwala sa’king kakayahan. Higit kong inaalay ito sa Panginoong Diyos na syang nag bigay ng lakas sa’ken.

Hayyy. Next week na ang pasukan. Ewan ko lang kung ano ‘yung sasalubong sa kin, basta’t sa sarili ko, alam ko ang gusto ko. Papanindigan ko ‘to. Tatapusin ko ‘to. Kahit anong mangyari.

Marami narin akong narinig mula sa ibang estudyante na “UNDANG NA LANG KO”, OR “GIKAPOI NAKO”. Hindi ko kayang magbitaw ng mga ganitong salita sa buong buhay ko. Tanging sarili ko lamang ang makakatalo sa’kin kung magkaganon man sa oras na susuko na ako. Syempre, hinding-hindi ako susuko para sa ‘king mga pinapangarap. Sa buhay, pinapahalagahan ko ang meron ako ngayon… at pinapahalagahan ko rin ang mga ninanais ko sa hinaharap. ‘Di mawawala jan ang sariling bahay, lupa, swimming pool, negosyo, sasakyan, masaya at maginhawang pamumuhay. Naniniwala akong ang edukasyon ang solusyon sa kahirapan. Para na rin sa kinabukasan ng pamilya ko sa hinaharap, gusto ko silang makatikim ng masaganang buhay. Para sa’king mga magulang at kapatid, umaasa sila na ako’y makakapagtapos para makatulong na rin sa paghahanap buhay nang sa ganon ay ako ang magpapa-aral ng kapatid ko.

Malaking tulong ang pananalig sa Diyos at pagtitiwala sa sarili. Samut saring mga negatibo ang pinuno ko sa’king isipan noon nang ako’y naghihintay pa lamang ng resulta sa ‘king pag shift sa kursong gustong-gusto ko. Sabi ko noon nang nagfifill-up pa lang ako ng form before ako nagtake ng UPCAT, “ay, bahala sa Iloilo basta’t ang kursong gusto ko ang makukuha ko.” Kaya linagay kong first choice campus:UP VISAYAS, a.Chemical Engineering b. Accountancy. 

Kaya lang, ‘di ako pinalad na makapasok niisa samga pinili ko. Kahit nakapasa ako sa UPCAT, “DPWAS” naman ang resulta ng kurso ko o Degree Program With Available Slots. WEW. grave. Ang saya-saya ko talaga nun nung nalaman kong nakapasa ako. ‘Yun nga lang ang problema… 😦 is.. Kailangan ko pa palang mag susummer bridge sa Math nun kasi mababa ang kuha ko sa math. Kaya mas naging maaga ang pag punta ko sa Miagao, Iloilo. Ahay… hanggang natapos ang Summer Bridge Program sa Math, dun nalang ako sa dorm naghintay hanggang pasukan. Naghanap ako sa Registrar kung mayroon pa bang slot na available. Linagay naman nila ako sa BS in Fisheries. 

Naging okay lang naman ang 1st sem ko sa Fish, masaya naman at ‘dun ako sumuko sa pangarap kong maging isang Chemical Engineer. OH DIBA? *.*

Sa pagsisimula ng 2nd sem, parang may sumanib na spirito ng pag-asa sa’kin. Nang maging CS ako o College Scholar sa first sem, parang, may kung anong aura ang namuo sa ‘king damdamin na mag shift sa kursong gusto ko, at ito ang mga samut saring kadahilanan:

1. Ayokong tumanda na magsisi dahil hindi ko kinuha ang pagkakataong makapasok sa gusto kong kurso.

2. Ayokong ibalewala ang gusto ng sarili ko.

3. Gusto kong magtayo ng Winery sa Surigao.

4. Gusto kong maging isang Engineer.

5. Gusto kong magpa inspire sa kapwa kong kabataan na matutuong maghintay sa pinapangarap.

6. Gusto kong gawin ang mga gusto ko habang may panahon pa.

7. Gusto kong magpakatotoo sa sarili ko.

Ito, ang mga simpleng sagot kung bakit ako nag SHIFT. Alam kong, sa mga Fish Friends ko, sila’y nalulungkot, at naging happy for me dahil sa nakamit ko na sa wakas ang matagal kong pinapangarap. Hindi maipagpapalit ang tuwang nagmumula sa’king damdamin. Naway gabayan ako ng Diyos sa mga LONG EXAMS na aking susuungin. Alam ko sa sarili ko na sa bandang huli, ang lahat ng pinaghirapan ay mamumunga ng mabuti at kailangan lamang ng tyaga sa bawat panahong igugugol ko sa pag-aaral. 

MABUHAY ANG MGA ISKOLAR NG BAYAN. 🙂