21 Tries

 

I.

The dreams in the vast horizons,

Entwined to the road of infinity,

From its first blossom to metamorphosis

It’s grandeur and never ending bloom.

II.

“Ding-dong” calls the chances,

Letting it echo in my head.

Got some questions, got it covered.

What would I do to live it in joy?

III.

Is this the chaotic war in humanity?

To be confused and feeling like exploding,

With thoughts I’ve kept inside,

Therefore, this should stop.

IV.

Where would I stand?

Let the river flow?

or go against the current?

Let me distance with these decisions.

V.

The birds that fly along the mountains,

Any bird will do as long as it deviate my mind,

Blocking its view in my eyes,

But never the heart in distraction.

VI.

Living through the life I wanted,

Translating the voices in my head,

Connecting the dots along the choices I make,

To be puzzled by the thought of love.

VII.

Love? How can I say it best?

How can I defend myself from its terrible will?

Give me my fair trial…

I’m not yet ready to be imprisoned forever.

VIII.

There are bunch of things on my mind right now,

Proceeding to the negativity at its own way,

Following all the commutative laws of the norm,

Tell me my heart, what do I stand for?

IX.

Keep me away from the fire of love,

I might die from its burning desire.

Forgive me my dearest heart,

You are something I can’t endure.

X.

To whom can I rely?

Can you me why?

Writing my own thoughts,

To whom can I quote?

XI.

This truth at the back of my mind,

To which I cannot deny.

Am I falling for him all along?

Or was this just a created confusion?

XII.

I cannot define what’s inside my bottled feelings,

So afraid of what it could reveal.

Inside of me, no one holds the key,

But only Him alone knows where the door held.

XIII.

Tell me I’m insane and weak,

For simplicity sake, I still insist:

“I’m not in love! I’m not,I’m not”

As the shouts exploded, my heart cried.

XIV.

To love and to be loved in return,

Isn’t it wonderful dear Almie?

Says the crying heart

But how can I know if he is the One?

XV.

As far as I know,

My heart is in alarm,

Torn between the thought of falling,

Am I going to fall in love? or fall into pieces?

XVI.

Hundreds? Thousands? It might be Millions…

Millions of butterflies attacking my belly,

Feelings I cannot comprehend,

Because you were just a dream I once knew.

XVII.

Why am I like this nowadays?

Longed to hold someone’s arms.

I just can’t believe this is happening inside my system,

I never thought, I would be right for you.

XVIII.

Is there something that is much greater than love?

It’s a thing I cannot drive at my control.

My will is weakened by it’s powerful clash,

Can I just give in and let it flow me?

XIX.

Show me the road to light,

I cannot conquer its bright.

Blinded by the shine it brings,

Filled with magic coated with weirdness feelings.

XX.

I have doubted myself a hundred times,

In any ways, I find resolutions,

To fulfill my mind with hope,

To still have faith in love and the joy it brings…

XXI.

Remembering the happiness I felt whenever I’m with you,

From the first time you uttered my name,

I smile and wondered, my world became new,

How can I stop myself from falling in love with you?

 

 

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Are all of these things make sense?

We are living on a planet called earth. Each of us has their own stories to tell. My story is about my plans for life. Digging up from its most inner core, I admit that I’ve been so persistent to be the best version I can become. The way I see things, I want to do it in a way that I could attain the dream achievement of my life.

So I asked myself, “Are all of these things make sense?” At first, I doubted myself if I can really pursue what I wanted in life. I was trying to create different conclusions asking myself about my future plans. At the end of the day, we all lay down in bed  and say ” Life ” is what we make it.

I did face dramas, all the craps, failures , frustrations, criticisms, and other bullshits in life that made me realize that “SHIT HAPPENS” indeed. In fact, I am used to it by now. In my almost 19 years of existence, I realized that life is on how we really deal with it.

I keep on reminding myself that everything is according to God’s perfect plan for my life. Even though problems come along and obstacles pave its way to me, I will never be afraid to conquer it all because I trust God. I have all the issues in my life that could slow down my life’s progress but, how could I deny the fact that God is with me? That I just have to trust on Him and rely to whatever circumstances I might encounter, knowing He is with me. I am thankful for this life He give to me.

Even though, it is not perfect, I still choose to follow Him. He knows the way and the truth in my life. Challenges in school makes me wanna scream and give it up. But the promise of good future of Christ motivates me a lot.

Perseverance is essential in order for us to attain good results. But before anything else, I still make it to accept the fact that life on earth is a temporary journey that will come to pass. What matters most is our relationship with the One above who made us feel the happiness, the love, and the sorrows here on earth. Living is easy. In the past, myself used to struggle on things I thought that really matters the most.

As I went along my quest, I found out that this is not my final destination yet. Towards good goals in life, determination is a must. The heart needs to be heard, and our desires in life need attention. Equipped with perseverance and hard work are just recipes to reach our dreams.

The things I’ve lost in the daily battles of my life do not matter anymore. Because, I only gain in life. According to Job 1:21, “21 He said, “I was born with nothing, and I will die with nothing. The Lord gave, and now he has taken away. May his name be praised!”. Now, I come to my senses and concluded that this is the truth. The medals, awards, money, properties, and jewelries, I cannot bring all of these when I die. That’s why, material or worldly things don’t matter. What matters most is on how we turned out to be. Being molded by God’s grace and His will for our life brings us to wherever we are today.

Every decision I make, I always make it to the point that I let God know about it. I asked God if this is the right thing to say or to do. I always wanted to make God as daily part of my life. I may not know what the future beholds, but all I ever believe are the promises of Christ. According to Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you, to provide you a future and a hope.” I hold on to the words He left for me. I should not worry about what tomorrow comes for tomorrow will worry about itself. So let him have your worries and cares for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.(Peter 5:7).

In everything I wanted to do, I want to be happy. But being happy for myself is not the only thing I need. My greatest achievement in life is to make my parents happy. Oh, seeing their smiles and their laughter soothes my heart. And the most important thing of all, is to please God glorifying His name in every single day of my life. I love God, and I am not ashamed to tell the world how I feel. I’m trying to live life to the fullest, enjoying every moment, giving value to every little conversations with the people I meet and of course, in top of all, to love, and to feel love. Everything else makes sense to me now. It is clear to say…LIFE IS SIMPLY AMAZING. 

Playlist

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Louie is my brother,

I’ll always remember you.

Track I: Photograph, Ed Sheeran

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As I try to look in your eyes, to follow some hint how to read upon your deepest thoughts, to have a glance on your “I’ll miss you” gestures, oh yes and you know what’s painful about to observe? it’s the hardest to look the wave of your hands…My dear little bro, this might be the thoughts running through your mind:

“And I know I’ll never be able to handle the hollowness I get when it is time to part ways. I break. I’ve done it all before, and every time is worse.

I have a choice to make. And it’s a big one. But I need to make all of the small choices first. I have to choose to keep going. To breathe. To be calm. Because I am not alone. And this was not goodbye. And if I can just fight through the crazy, I will be fine. “- LOUIE JADE

Asking for forgiveness, “Sorry manang kung kulang ta time”

No, you shouldn’t Hijo, those times we were together, having such a worthwhile conversations that I will never ever forget.

Track II: No good in goodbye, The Script

Just think about the good things,

On what sunshine will bring,

Think about the wide smiles,

That makes your life worthwhile.

Think about the cool times,

When you’re about to rhyme.

Think about how the birds fly,

As if you need not to cry.

Think about how the wind blows,

Our friendship always flows.

Think about our songs,

Letting you remember to never go wrong.

Think about the best of the best,

this is just a friendship test.

Think about the old ways,

Of yourself going nae-nae. (haha)

Think about positivity,

when you’re clouded with negativity.

Think about how the flowers bloom,

Someday, you’ll be an awesome groom.

Think about how I kept this going,

because words aren’t enough to express feelings.

Think about this song,

I intend to play all along:

All the things that we’ve lost
Breaking up comes at a cost
I know I’ll miss this mistake
Every word I try to choose
Either way I’m gonna lose
Can’t take the ache from heartbreak

Oh, but as you walk away
You don’t hear me say

Where’s the “good” in “goodbye”?
Where’s the “nice” in “nice try”?
Where’s the “us” in “trust” gone?
Where’s the “soul” in “soldier on”?
Now I’m the “low” in “lonely”
‘Cause I don’t own you only
I can take this mistake
But I can’t take the ache from heartbreak

No, I can’t take the ache from heartbreak

No matter how it falls apart
There’s an “art” in breaking hearts
But there’s no fair in farewell, no
And when I see you in the street
I pray to God you don’t see
The silent “hell” in “I wish you well.”
If I could turn back time then I would re-write those lines

Track III: See you again, Wiz Khalifa

To the person, I value, dear batchmate, dear friend, dear brother, dear Louie, I will see you again. Someday. That time will come, I know. I believe that every second I type this all for you is a second lost for you to go. It’s painful to know that we, all your friends have to let you go. But I do believe that our friendship will never end.

If two hearts are meant to be friends, no matter how long it takes, how far they go, how tough it seems, God will bring them togetehr to share friendship forever. We will see each other again.

I realize, one of the reasons why people hold on to memories so tight is because memories are the only things that don’t change when everything else does.

I’ll hold on to the numerous treasured moments we had. Always remember that your “Manang Almie” is just a chat away from you. 🙂 Keep safe cuz I care. Have faith in the Lord that things will go right. This is just one of His mighty plans. Never lose hope on anything, okay bro? 🙂 Our life is being written by the same Hand, using the same Pen. Do not worry if you are about to think on going trouble. 🙂 Think Happiness. It is within YOU. 🙂 God bless.

-Your Ate Almie ❤

To: Louie Jade Causing

The Little Tulip Flower

The tulip said–

It’s winter, dark and cold down here.

I’m put away, buried under a mountain

I’ll never bloom for your Glory

so what are you doing to me,

Lord?

The Lord answered- I’ve placed you

exactly where it’s best for you.

I know

just how much you can hear and I’ll unfurl

your fragile petals for the world to see.

But for now, dear tulip,

trust and obey Me.

You are Loved.

#SpecialWords

#Heatherley

He Knows Best

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Everything that God allows to come our way was with a purpose. He uses even the greatest error and deepest hurt to mold us into a person of worth and value.

Dealing with emotional stress and frustrations in life is what everybody wanted to avoid. Sometimes, we tend to lose our sight on the things that matters the most because we only focused on what we think is essential for us yet our God wanted to provide even more. We had a bucket of concerns and worries. We would worry today. We will worry tomorrow. We worry again and again ’til we give up and say, “Lord, where are You?” This is a blast toast.

According to Matthew 6:34NIV DO NOT WORRY, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Let him have all your worries and cares for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you. IPeter 5:7 TLB

The Lord does not want us to doubt, to fear or to grieve. He want us to believe, to hope and to love and to see life the way He made it. ❤

Just always keep in mind that when you make choices, follow God, not your own way. For if your own way fails, you regret but with God, you can smile and say. “He knows best.” 😀 ❤9bcc74cb07db889de1ce5869b366f4eb