Consistency

Sea view of Kuliatan Marine Sanctuary, San Joaquin, Iloilo, Philippines 📸: Almie Jane

Author: Almie Jane

“Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t be afraid to stand firm on the decisions that you make. Trust yourself. Believe in your instincts. Do what works best for YOU. Stay true to yourself and be good to yourself. Allow every decision that you make to empower, enrich, and add value to your life!”

-Stephanie Lahart

Throughout my student life in the University, I have strived hard to stay consistent about consistency. It is a promise which spells dependability and longevity to sustain peak performance. Everyday, I’ve always see to it to organize my schedule and simply follow it. I tried to practice on replicating positive behaviour each workload day after day. I’ve been juggling different parts of my life using the power of consistency- relationships, studies, univ activities, and of course, my well-being as a person.

“Self-care is so important, particularly if there are others depending on you, and a regular and consistent routine is an essential part of that care.”

-Christina Passarella

Because I believe that even the best plans will fail without a dedication to consistency.

There will always be obstacles along the way that challenge you while leaving you no choice but to push through the limits. In the face of strong resistance, it is best to always stand up for what you believe in. But what does it take to be consistent ourselves?

According to Michal Kornozek in his blog on Minimalist Journaling: A Fun and Effective Tool for Tremendous Habit Change l,

“Consistency has always been a challenge for me. Despite defining clear goals for myself, I have always struggled to create the habits that would lead me to fulfill them. I had the motivation and time, yet I would consistently fail somewhere around day 10. Failure kept leaving me angry and frustrated, and compounded into a disbelief in my ability to succeed… “

-Michal Korzonek

I have learned that this has something to do with standards-you must enforce compliance to a set of standards. Well, as for me, everybody has their own standard of living and it depends whether a person is dedicated enough or not. Practicing consistency isn’t as easy as it seems to be. It needs to undergo a process to make it a habit by identifying the main points.

You need to make specific and realistic goals [1]. By creating your personal schedule is an important step to keep you on track [2]. Sometimes, it is easy to forget new goals, habits, commitments, or promises, especially when we make them to ourselves. To remind yourself throughout the day, put messages to yourself in visible areas [3]. Never forget to make promises only if you can keep them. It is easy to get overwhelmed, however, if you make too many promises. If you think a request may be difficult to do, say no [4]. Take some time to also reward yourself when you get something done. Even small goals deserve small rewards to help keep you motivated throughout the process [5].

You have to be ready to challenge yourself do better everyday. Know what to prioritize for a greater purpose. There will always be people who break the rules or grease the wheels to earn an unfair advantage for themselves.

But you need to keep going if you make a mistake. Plan for potential failure, and don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake along the way [6]. Consistency doesn’t mean that you are working all of the time. So take time off to recharge [7]. Use motivational tools to keep going even when you don’t feel like it. Try to find new sources of motivation if you’re feeling down or lazy [8]. Always, always hold yourself accountable. To be consistent means you have to make sure that you recognize when you don’t reach the standards and goals that you’ve set [9].

Changing your thinking is a great help to implement a leap to consistency.

You need to give yourself time to see changes [10]. Set boundaries for your commitments and personal relationships [11]. Most importantly, build your willpower to achieve goals [12]. In order to manifest these things, you have to eliminate negative thinking turn them around or introduce a more positive or neutral thought. So for example if you find yourself thinking “I can’t do this,” turn it around and think, “I’m going to practice doing this, even if I’m not great at it to start with [13].”

I believe that by being consistent pays off in the long run. Just like hard work, consistency can become a person’s strength towards success. This require optimism and productiveness throughout the process. Start with setting for small goals, and when you achieve them, you’ll be more confident to aim for bigger goals.

References:

Passarella, Christina (2018). The Life-Changing Power of Consistency           

Korzonek, Michal (2018). Minimalist Journaling: A Fun and Effective Tool for Tremendous Habit Change

1.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals

2.https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/291912

3.https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-improve-your-consistency/

4.http://changingminds.org/techniques/how_to/trust_me/keep_promises.htm

5.https://www.inc.com/chris-dessi/10-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself-every-day.html

6.http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234325

7.https://www.inc.com/chris-dessi/10-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself-every-day.html

8.https://www.inc.com/chris-dessi/10-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself-every-day.html

9.http://www.inc.com/eric-v-holtzclaw/consistency-power-success-rules.html

10.https://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=759

11.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201305/the-importance-maintaining-consistent-boundaries

12.http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-happiness/201204/5-tips-boosting-your-willpower

13.https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-improve-your-consistency/

Frat-Sor Violence

Enduring almost seven weeks of rigorous hazing–paddling, face-slapping, body-punching and worse–and he/she became a respected brother/sister for it.

Fraternities, sororities and other organizations has become a staple in the Philippines education system. Unfortunately, some practices present today in fraternities defeat the purpose of brotherhood and camaraderie. Frat-Sor related violence has become rampant and is subjected to hazing and inhumane acts.

Man as a social being, is definitely in need to belong in a family, group, tribe, club, organization or community. For some who seeks the allure and exclusivity, brotherhoods or sisterhoods, fraternities and sororities, street gangs, military units and secret societies are held for that special sense of belonging, kinship, and bonding- as for the promise that membership in this different kind of community of men and women will guarantee lifelong benefits, privileges, reassurances, and advantages in the long run. In return, one accepts the ethos of a brotherhood/sisterhood, following set of ideals, and commitment to a code of silence.

Young people who were interviewed observed that there were benefits to be earned by joining a fraternity/sorority: “For social purposes” (Shera Mortejo, UPV); “To have connections and affiliations”(Zsareena Zabala, UPV); “To boost self-esteem” (Sean Labastida, UPV); “For them to have people to rely on especially in times of troubles” (Arniel Lisondra, MSU-IIT);  “To have another family. To belong. To fit in. To be loved” (Lala Calle, UPV);  “To gain acceptance and feel some kind of belongingness. Some also join for quest and thirst for power” (Syrine Podadera, FEU); “Promised protection & security, social elevation” (Clyde Aguillon, UPLB); “To not feel alone.”(Dan Borongan, UPV); “Peer Pressure”(Aizel Divinagracia, USC); “They can’t find love with their family” (Davy Abella, USC); “Sense of “damayan”(Dua Uriarte, SU); “Personal preference- maybe their parents were fratmen”(Emman Aller, UPV); “They feel safe and settled that they have people who share similar beliefs and values”(Jessa Temelo, UPV) “To gain respect”( Kenneth Baay, SPUS); “Sponsorship and solid connection” (James Luchavez, UPV); “It is one way of being cool”(Gabriel Lerona, UPV); “For greater circle of friends and the benefits after college like easy job application”(May Ann Ybañez, UPV); “Academic support”,(Joeylyn Terania, UPV); “To be able to learn and use the learnings as an instrument to give service to fellowmen, having a family and fun activities” (Kulit 5th)

If there are pluses, there are also minuses. There are gray areas in which one shouldn’t forget. Often, the violence is meted out with measures of restraint. But one too many times it is dispensed with savage and unrestrained brutality, with pledges beaten to a pulp. And sometimes, in the name of fraternity, death occurs. The underlying fact is that the term called “hazing” can possibly account during any Fraternity or Sorority initiation rites. Basically, it has been a practice as a part of the initiation rites to be conducted. It’s a form of conditioning that, in theory, is said to teach pledges the meaning of authority and loyalty (by bullying them into submission), foster camaraderie among new recruits (by collectively subjecting them to pain and humiliation), and make them value the privilege of being accepted into the brotherhood (by making them work hard to get in).

Even though that these seem like noble intentions, the problem with hazing is that it can get too far. Sometimes, these traditions are left in the hands of late teens and early 20’s college students which is to say that they are unsupervised young adults that might be drunk and lack knowledge of how much physical and psychological torture the human body can tolerate. As a matter of fact, 82% of deaths from violent hazing involve alcohol.

Men and women are willing to suffer through the hazing rituals of physical and psychological abuse for that fraternity/sorority. Heavy doses of both can result to extreme degrees of physical violence and degrading insults. The so-called “Neophytes” are meant to humble pledges to their “Lord Masters”.

The consequences of psychological abuse are often hidden. But sometimes, after the hazing, beneath the seeming normalcy, there is a lifetime of psychological scars or wounds that never heal.

For physical abuse, the marks are visible, usually caused by the most common form of abuse in the tradition of hazing that is “paddling”- MUCH WORSE THAN IT SOUNDS, MUCH MORE THAN A PADDLE. The consequence is often inflicted with brutality, almost always, causing the part of the body to “ube”- the vernacular for the bloody bruising. In the name of  frat/sor, the ability to endure the brutality is considered a measure of bravery, resolve, and worthiness.

Taking the risk is not that easy to fall into. A lot is being said and written about the recent fraternity hazing incidents that killed a student and severely injured three others from the De La Salle University—College of St. Benilde, and critically wounded another from the University of the Philippines. Fingers are being pointed, legislative bills are being submitted, investigations are being conducted, and lawsuits are being filed.

Numerous incidents happened in the Philippines with Frat/Sor issues. But in that case, one should not put the blame mutually on all existing fraternities and sororities. As the government seeks to form a task force to ban frat/sor, many reasons compromises it because fraternities and sororities have a place in society. Besides, fraternities provide for various human needs — a surrogate family, a place for young men and women to forge friendships, bonding, and trust, a milieu of kindred spirits, a place to experience community. It is the hazing that is the unnecessary ritual, and the deaths from it so senseless.

Despite the deaths and known risks, some sororities and fraternities continue with their conspiratorial regimens of torture. Despite having been criminalized by Republic Act 8049 more than a decade ago, the deaths continue. Despite “zero-tolerance” edicts and sound bites, when hazing season comes around, schools and universities turn a blind eye, waiting for the next death—when it becomes the occasion for the usual public outcry, condemnation and condolence.